Monsters
by SleaterKinney
Summary: Bella has been abused her whole life. Does moving to Forks provide relief or more abuse? Bella/Alice, Bella/Edward, Bella/OC. Worth checking out! Full Summary inside. Former Pen-name: Cat.Onyx who wrote Broken and Sadistic Edward. Now Jasmin's Ninja
1. Getting Away

**Author: Jasmin's Ninja (Formerly )  
Story: Monsters  
Rating: M for Sexual References, Abuse and language  
Chapter 1: Getting Away  
**

**Story Summary: Bella has lived a life full of abuse being abused by the people meant to look after her. After escaping that to Forks she starts to question her sexuality, trying to attach herself to anything, wanting someone to love her. Moving to Forks proves to be hard, with her breaking down over things that remind her of the abuse she encounter and no one can predict what happens to her next. Not even Alice, the future-telling vampire with a dark past. Bella/Edward, Bella/Alice, Bella/OC.**

**Author Notes: I'm back! Sorry for the long time I was away. I've got a brand new story for you all.  
The inspiration to write this story came from three songs.  
Monster – Lady GaGa  
Monster – Unter Null  
Monster – My Ruin**

**It was primary focused on Monster by My Ruin with a line of lyrics before each chapter.**

_**Destroy me as want turns to need; you murder me just to watch me bleed.**_

'_Fifty two, fifty two, fifty two' _I counted that number in my head over and over as I heard a drunken Phil stumble into my room. I knew this was coming. Like every other night but it still scared me, it still hurt me. I should be used to it by now, my own mother told me I should. Why aren't I? What's wrong with me? I shuddered as I felt the bed move. I had my eyes closed but I knew he was on the bed. What happened to when you were a child, where if you closed your eyes and hid under your covers nothing would get you? That you'd be safe? That isn't the case at all, he still did it. I was never safe.

I pretended to sleep as he started, as he abused me. If I struggled I'd just be hit over and over and over until I passed out. It took everything not to whimper in pain as he thrust into me, not to cry as I heard my mother laugh. _'Fifty two, fifty two, fifty two, fifty two. Just keep repeating that!' _I told myself. I don't know why but keeping count of how many times he'd done this was a comfort to me. I wanted to forget, yes. But by remembering a number, not the actual act itself was a comfort of sort. If my mind wandered to thinking about it, I'd think of the number. Just the number and I'd keep myself from thinking of what actually happened to me. It was my way of not totally falling apart, so I kept at it. But he was so rough this time, it hurt so much. I started screaming the number in my mind, screaming it so I didn't cry.

I didn't realise I was starting to whisper it out loud until I felt the hand across my face, hearing him yell at me to "Shut the fuck up Isabella!" Then laugh sadistically.

SMACK

SMACK

SMACK

SMACK

SMACK!

Over and over the stinging increasing with every contact his hand made with my face until he was done with what he was doing and left me in my bed, my pants pulled down, my nose bloody and sobbing. I couldn't do this anymore. I knew I deserved it, they made me believe that with my full heart but I couldn't bare it anymore. Earlier in the day I was looking through my mums things and I found Charlies address and I took some money. She'd find out sooner or later, I'm surprised she didn't notice it was missing already. I hadn't seen him in ages, not after Renee took me. I packed some clothes, a map and the rest of the few belongings I had and sneaked outside when I was 100% sure the two abusers that 'looked after' me were asleep.

Isabella was long gone. Along with the keys to Phil's truck. I had taken them and now as I sat in the driver's seat. I thought about the exact steps to start the truck as quickly as I can just in case the abusers woke up from the sound of the engine.

'_One. Turn the ignition on.' _ I thought to myself going through the steps.

_'Two. Put the gears into Drive'_

_'Three. DRIVE!' _

I went over the steps a few times. It was simple enough and I put them into action managing to drive onto the road, and towards my desired location.

Forks.

It took two whole days but I managed to get there in the end, parking just in the trees next to the road I set the car ablaze, watching it go up in smoke. I made sure the foliage around the car was wet so I wasn't to blame for the whole forest burning down. As I watched I started to think about it. It was interesting really, how quickly something can be destroyed if you really want to destroy it. It's like a car you don't repair, it's suffering in a sense, getting tortured during a period of time until it just gives up, and then there's this. Destroying something so beautiful that was perfectly fine in a matter of seconds. If I was a car, I'd be the bomb that doesn't get repaired and keeps on going. I sighed walking out of the forest as the blaze died with my bag and hand out towards the rode to see if anyone was willing to give me a ride.

After a few minutes of walking someone pulled up behind me. I turned and saw a blonde haired teenager get out of his car calling out to me.

"Hey you need a ride?" he asked looking over at me with a smile planted on his face. "Yeah that'd be good." My voice whispered quietly once I was within range he could hear me. "Well, hey you're lucky I stopped by! I'm Mike by the way" he stuck out his hand towards me and I looked at it like it was a foreign object before taking it and forcing out a smile at him.

"Isa—"I choked, trying to tell this boy my name. That name… The memories.. "Hey, I'm Bella" I smiled and with that, I left my old name behind. Bella… I liked it. Mike looked at me with a little bit of hesitation before replying "well, come on then" and giving me the biggest grin out but even his enthusiasm didn't make me feel better. I got in the car with him and he asked me where I was going. "Oh, I want to see my father Charlie Swan"

"Chief Swan?" He quizzed, "yeah I know where he lives. Almost everyone does. Why do you want to meet him?"

"I'm his daughter. Bella Swan" I replied in a mutter looking out at the window, there was nothing but trees. I didn't really pay attention to anything in particular for the rest of the trip and Mike had to say my name a few times to get my attention to tell me that we were there. I thanked him and left but he called me back and whispered in my ear "if you ever need a tour guide or anything, I'm here" and then proceeded to give me his number. For some strange reason I don't think 'tour guide' was quite as innocent as how he meant it. I sighed. I really didn't like guys, I never have. Sure some are hot, but I hate how they act with their emotions and whatnot. And there were too many men like Phil.

I looked up at the house I had vague memories of. I had not much of an idea how my dad looked after being taken away when I was 4 years old. But here I was and it was now or never. He was always kind to me, wasn't he? I had no idea. I took a gulp and like a scared little lamb, I walked up to the door and knocked waiting nervously as I heard footsteps nearing my position. The door opened and I think Charlie was as shocked as I was nervous. "Bells!" he pretty much yelled due to excitement as he picked me up in a hug "you have no idea how much I've missed you."

I could safely bet he recognised me "hey… Dad" It felt weird calling him dad, not that he wasn't my father, it's just I hardly remember him. I do remember the moustache though. "Where have you been baby? It's been so long" he said in between sobs. I took it upon myself to rub his back. It was a bold move for me with the state I was in at the moment but nonetheless I felt compelled to console my crying father but I couldn't answer him, I didn't want to even think about the answer.

"It doesn't matter, I'm here now" I whispered loosing track of time as we stood there for what it seemed hours until he stopped crying.

That week I got to know my father, he got to know a little bit about me but I still never divulged any information about the things that has happened to me. I learnt he couldn't cook at all and I also learnt that he was going to make me go to school which I wasn't too sure about. He learnt that calling me Isabella resulted in me sobbing from the pain I felt from the memories. He hasn't called me that since. I thought about all the things I learned about him as I packed my bag for school. My first day. I wasn't all too thrilled about it especially with Charlie driving me to school. The drive to school was silent after he stated "you've lost the shine in your eyes."

I didn't want to tell him what had happened to me.

"I've already organised everything but I think that I should introduce you to the receptionist so she can help get you on your feet" Charlie didn't want to seem bossy, he was just worried about his daughter. The fact that the bruises were still on his face made him feel sick with guilt. He wasn't there to help his baby even though there was no way he could. He still didn't know what happened and it didn't seem like he was going to find out any time soon.

I didn't bother trying to argue with him. I just followed him to the main office in full awareness of the eyes staring at me. Why were they staring? I started to worry, nervousness whacking me in the face making me feel like I was going to hurl but then I remembered the police cruiser and the fact my dad was the police chief of this town but when we walked into the room away from those eyes all piercing into me I was glad, to say the least. I sat in the chair as my father talked to the receptionist not really listening at all. Everything was happening so suddenly, though I was glad I went a week without being hurt I felt like something was missing, the abuse was missing. The abuse I felt I deserved. The abuse that I wanted, but didn't. It was all so confusing and I had no idea how I was going to move on. At least I was smiling and with that thought I smiled thinking about how Charlie said I was still stubborn after all these years. It felt like he knew me better than my mother who raised me my whole life. I felt like things were slowly going to get better but at the same time I was afraid of that, I was afraid of it getting better and I had no idea why.

"Bella, I'm going to leave now. Are you sure you're going to be okay?" my father asked as I looked up at him. His face looked like he wasn't sure what to do. Wether to leave me here or take me back home. "I'll be fine" I forced a smile patting the front of my backpack which was in my lap, "what's the worst that could happen? I'm all set for school."

"Alrighty then, I've asked Mike to keep an eye on you today. I know that young boy… I trust him."

I nodded as a gesture of my thanks and got up seeing the blonde haired kid come into the room. Oh. Right. Mike. I forgot.

"Well fancy meeting you here again" he grinned again, his classic cheesy smile but he seemed friendly enough so I walked out the door, seeing him follow.

"We have all our classes together too, so if you just stick with me it'll be fine girl!" he said as he put his hand on my shoulder. Wrong move. I instantly imagined Phil holding my shoulders down and groaned in emotional and physical pain jerking away from him. Keeping the tears at bay I just pretended nothing was wrong and kept walking with him to our first class and by the look of the classroom it looked to be English. My eyes scanned the room and a certain face made me froze. His eyes were burning into mine, piercing right into my soul. A look that resembled how Phil used to look at me right before he…

I forced my eyes away from that boy and onto Mike grabbing his hand leading him to empty seats, so I couldn't see that boy with the coal eyes staring at me but even if I couldn't see them, I could feel them on me. I felt like I was in imminent danger. Like cows off to the slaughter house. I just wanted to get away but I couldn't so I just focused on everything and anything, even Mike as a distraction. I had to admit, I looked into his eyes a far while. The blue was that really strange light blue, not the strong blue but it made me feel at ease. Of course he thought he was the shit for me doing that, his little smug smile told me that but I didn't care.

As soon as the lesson ended and the bell rang that strange boy was right past my desk, not looking at the time which I was pretty sure was a good thing but I _wanted_ him to look at me, to feel that fear I was _meant_ to feel. I craved it yet feared it. "So, hey Bella we have a spare next, what do you say we go outside and just talk.. Or, you know something?" Mike was clearly nervous but I agreed. I knew he probably liked me by now but I'd rather be with just one person instead of in a place with a whole group of people I didn't really know.

Well, I thought we'd be by ourselves but he met a group of friends. Great. I tried to be polite and smile as I took in their faces and hoped I remembered their names.

I got greeted to each of them and the long black haired girl named Angela seemed the nicest trying to make the most conversation with me. Normally I'd find that slightly irritating but she only was talking to me so much because she was genuinely interested in what I had to say unlike Jessica, the brown haired girl who seemed like the gossip type. I tried to be blunt with her, but in a nice way. Kind of like "Hahaha no' or 'haha yeah' answers until she asked me a question that I couldn't ignore.

"Did you see Edward in English! He's just a babe" she said with unneeded excitement and the last part of that sentence she sounded like she was going into dream land.

"Yeah he was staring at her the whole time. What a creep" Mike muttered moving a little closer to me making me even more uncomfortable. I closed my eyes holding in shuddering realising the boy I feared so much it felt natural was who they were talking about.

"Oh, him" I muttered.

"He's never stared at _me_" the brown haired girl named Jessica said a little envious just as the bell went for lunch "I'm starved!" Eric, the Asian boy said, "let's go get lunch, eh Bella?"

"What?" I asked as I looked up at him then realising what he said, "oh yeah" I got up and followed them all to a table in the cafeteria. I looked around at my surroundings over to a group of people who were much paler than everyone else. Then saw him staring, his eyes burning into me. I felt like I deserved the hatred in his eyes but I was over this. What was his problem?

I got up, not listening to anything in particular, only focusing on him until I reached the table. I felt frightened. Like I was in danger but I went on with it. "If you're going to look at me with so much hate when I haven't done anything don't look at me at all." I muttered to the boy with the golden brown hair. What I noticed most though was his eyes. They were a golden brown colour now, not black or was that just my imagination. He looked taken back, like no one had ever done this to him before. He seemed up himself. I was still looking at his eyes… They looked like they were getting darker and darker. He got up from his chair so he was stood up and because he was taller than me he looked down at me. "Maybe you should mind your own business if you know what's good for you" he said, his voice slick with hatred as he kicked his chair back and walked out of the cafeteria. I took a glance at the other people he said with. One looked like a model with her long blonde hair, next there was this bear of a man who smiled softly at him which you wouldn't have expected, then there was this honey haired boy looking as if he was in pain, staring at me but not with the hatred Edward looked at me with, his eyes looked like they were just full of pain and worry. I felt close to him, like I could relate and then I followed his arms to the girl who he was holding. I was a bit taken back by how beautiful she was, I mean the blonde haired girl was beautiful but this girl with her short-but-not-too-short black hair, different lengths everywhere and her eyes. The colour, they had to be contacts. I'd never seen such a strong green as a natural pupil colour in my life. It made her look exotic.

She was looking straight at me. I knew I should apologize or something and leave but the feeling of comfort and fear I felt around this group of people was nice. I opened my mouth and took a breath to say something but nothing came out and I just looked down, turned around and retreated back to Angela, Jessica, Eric and Mike. A couple of other people had joined them now who I didn't recognise but they were nice enough to move when I came back.

"Oh. My. God. You did not just do that!" Jessica exclaimed in her gossip talk voice. "No one has ever gone up to them before. What did you do? What did you say?" Jessica was way too excited. It was overwhelming.

"Um, I was fed up of him watching me so I told him not to" I muttered looking away at her gaze.

"What! Any girl wouldKILL to have that hottie staring at them!" She almost yelled incredulously.

"I don't really find him that attractive" I whispered hearing some giggle from behind that made me turn around to see where it was from. I saw that girl with the magnificent green eyes with her hand over her mouth giggling. Had she heard me? I was so far away it would have been impossible but there she was looking in my direction giggling.

"Are you blind?" She said loudly not believing that someone could find that man not attractive. "I don't really find men… men attractive" I exposed not thinking about what I had said until after I said it. "You're a lesbian!" Jessica just about shouted to the whole cafeteria. My mouth just hang open unable to answer. What worried me more than the fact everyone in the vicinity probably heard was that I wasn't sure if I was or not. I never really thought about it. "I've never thought about being a lesbian" I admitted in a mutter, "and so what if I am? Are you homophobic or something?"

The whole group looked taken back and Mike looked disappointed. "No, no I just.. I.." Jessica stammered and I couldn't keep the smug little smile off my face.

"Uh so, who are those other people who sit with Ed.. Edward?" I asked looking uninterested but in all honesty, I was extremely interested.

"They're all the Cullen's. They're all adopted children from Dr Cullen and his wife. But, what's strange is that they're all together. I mean, I kind of wish he'd adopt me and maybe then I'd have a chance with Edward." Angela laughed. "Well, the blondes Rosalie and the guy next to her is Emmett. The guy who looks like he's in pain is Jasper. I feel sorry for him a bit. And he girl in his arms is Alice. She's interesting in her own way." Angela continued.

"If you mean weird when you say interesting then she is" Jessica said in a bitchy tone. "Who cuts their hair that short except lesbians?" she laughed. Okay. She was starting to get to me now. "It isn't that short. It's longer than Eric's, just not as emo looking" Angela laughed looking over at Mike leaning over to mess up his hair, "now it looks a bit more like hers." She grinned.

I looked over at Eric, seeing his fringe all messed up now and over to Alice and noticed his hair was a few centimetres shorter than Alice's, but the back of her hair hung about 5 centimetres from the bottom of her hair line, down her neck reaching above her shoulders. '_Beautiful_' I thought looking at her. Wait what? I pulled my eyes away from her looking down at the table.

I then realised that each of their eyes were the same black colour Edwards had been with the exception of Alice… Why was that?

"Excuse me?" Turning around to see who said that I saw green eyes I immediately connected with to with Alice. "May I have a word Bella?" How did she know my name? My eyebrows pulled together in confusion hearing her ask that. I didn't reply and soon after staring at her I totally forgot she'd even asked a question. "Bella?" Her voice jolted me back to reality and I finally replied.

"Yeah, here or…?" I asked quietly.

"Come with me" She grabbed my hand helping me up and leaded me into the empty hallway. "I'd just like to apologize about my brother. He has certain personality issues. But God, you do smell good like he said." She grinned adding, "don't worry; we're going to be really close." _'Really close'_? What did she mean by that?

She turned to walk away but I grabbed her arm keeping her here "hey wait, how did you know my name?" I asked my hand not leaving her arm. It was only then I realized how short she was. The top of her head reached just above my chin but it wasn't like she looked funny. She had a normal proportionally sized body. She was just smaller, and didn't look childlike at all. It was sort of cute. "You're the chief of police's daughter and this is a small town. News travels fast" She said smiling. I really liked her voice; it was so nice just to hear, comforting. "I guess that's a valid excuse but people normally refer to me as Isa…"I stalled saying that name and Alice almost looked worried. "People normally refer to me as my full name."

"Well I've heard you don't really like it and I wanted to make a good first impression" she grinned.

"You've done a good job there" I mumbled quietly flashing her an actual genuine smile. I started to lift my hand up to scratch my head but I felt some pain as I scraped my arm against the wall. "Ow" I murmured looking around and seeing I caught it on the edge of a notice board and then the blood and instantly as I saw the red droplets of pain forming I dropped onto my knees and started sobbing asking Alice to make it all go away… And she was worried about her making a bad first impression. That quick thought made me laugh a little as I sobbed, the pain returning. I hated the sight of blood. The memories I got from it. I looked up and Alice had a pained expression, even worse than what Jasper looked like when I saw him earlier. Her face was a mixture of sorrow and pain mixed with confusion and her eyes… they weren't green anymore.

"Bella I… I…" She stammered trying not to take a breath. Her hand then went up to cover her nose and mouth. "Please help" I cried help, "get rid of the blood!" She grabbed me and with almost inhuman strength she pulled me to the washroom and washed the blood away holding a paper towel to the cut and was that whimpering I heard coming from her? I didn't really have time to think about it as I stood there sobbing, breaking down over some silly blood.

"Bella, it's all gone. Trust me" Alice's' comforting voice told me but it wasn't enough. I was still sobbing. I didn't even know why she was here with me. She had no need to be here. I didn't even know her. "Bella please.." her voice was getting more worried and pleading, "Bella stop it please."

I didn't stop it not even when she grabbed my arms trying to get me to settle down, not even when I subconsciously pressed my face against her shoulder as my heartbeat was frantic, not even when I heard a quiet growling sound emitting from her but when I felt her lips on the top of my head. Yes I did. I was instantly comforted and then back into reality I pulled away from her. "I'm.. so sorry!" I said, my hand over my mouth. "I'm really sorry!" I kept apologizing. "Bella, Bella it's okay. It really is" Alice said pulling me into her arms. My cheeks got even more red, if that was possible.

Alice was cursing herself for not seeing this happen. She was mentally fighting with herself to keep from jumping on the human and she was surprised she had enough strength to take the bleeding girl to the washroom, be alone with her and console her. She almost lost control when she felt Bella's arms around her and her face on her shoulder. Why did she feel like this? Was it simple lust for her blood? Or something else? Why was Bella so upset about some blood? It made the smaller girl worry.

I pulled away after a while looking at the time on my phone. "Is class in yet?" I asked not knowing and not finding the will to get out my timetable to check. "Yes but I think it'd probably be better if you went home after this, don't you?" Alice asked me. It surprised me, I didn't think this almost total stranger would even help me much less be late for class to make sure I'm okay.

"Yeah but my dad isn't home and he wouldn't be able to pick me up" I muttered. Kicking the ground a few times at the thought of going to class. I knew Mike would try to ask me what happened, I mean everyone came over when they heard the show I put on.

"I could probably be able to get out of the rest of the day if you want me to take you home" she offered. Wow, was she really this nice or did she have some ulterior motive. My brain said the latter but my heart believed she was just the nicest person out there. "Uh, you really don't have to" I wanted her to but I didn't want to come across as selfish.

"Hey it's no biggie. I'll be back in a few. Just wait outside okay?"

I did what she asked and she was back in no time. "It's fine, everything's worked out. I'll drive you to your house in my car and we'll spend some time together" she grinned saying that as she grabbed my hand leading me outside to her car.

On the way she was asking me little questions about my life and all that and I found out that I was the most open with her than anyone else, even Charlie.

"So, why'd you move to Forks?" She asked me looking at me and smiling as she did. It was like she knew I would have been looking at her.

"Well, I had a really hard time with my… my… Mother and her boyfriend.. Ph—yeah just him so I decided to spend some time with my dad" I replied. I never told Charlie I had a hard time.

"Hard time?" She wanted to know more about the said 'hard time'.

"Just bad things happened… It…" Oh no…. The memories were coming back as I thought more about it. Fifty two! Fifty two! Over in my head, that number and before I knew it I was saying it out loud again.

"Bella, forget I asked. I'm really sorry. How 'bout we talk about me?" Alice said trying to distract me.

I took off my hoodie I was wearing trying to think of a question but only One question instantly came to mind. "Why are your eyes a blue colour, well green-y blue colour when they were green before?"

"Oh, they do that when I'm hungry" She didn't smile or look at me as she answered that or say anything else to explain how that works. I didn't really have any other question.. That was a lie. I just didn't want to ask, well, that was a lie too I did want to but I didn't want to annoy her or anything. I saw my house in the distance and picked up my bag from the floor near my feet getting ready to get out and ready to ask the question that had been plaguing my mind, trying to force me to ask.

"Alice do you want to—"

"Bella, I'm not leaving you alone in this house. I'll stay" She interrupted me answering me as if she knew what I was going to ask. How did she know? I was about to ask her this when she did it again!

"I thought you were going to ask me to stay, I'm good at judging people" she grinned proudly getting out of the car and even though I opened the door less than a second after she opened hers there she stood at my side helping me out. "How did you—"

"I'm fast" She grinned and that alone made me smile and reach for the hand she was holding out to me. What was strange that if anyone else kept interrupting me like that It'd get to me instantly. Sure, it kind of annoyed me by now but I allowed her to for now at least. Maybe I subconsciously thought that I owed her something for helping me back at school and now she was going into my house… Wait oh god, she was going into my dad's house and I invited her!

"If you don't want me to go in and spend time with you I won't it's okay" Alice said looking at me with her green eyes. She mustn't be hungry anymore. I didn't want to refuse this pixie-like girl and I'm pretty sure I wanted to spend time with her. I opened to door and lead her in to the couch and scratched my head as I said "uh, It's not much but it's home" kind of nervous she'd think I'm not good because the house I lived in right now wasn't all that.

"It's fine Bella. What do you take me for? Someone who is going to think low of you because of how you act and all that stuff? That'd make me a snob." She giggled slumping down on the couch. "Well, your car looks like it's more expensive than this house and everything in it and I just thought you might.. I dunno" I trailed off, my cheeks going a light shade of red.

"Well, my life hasn't always been like that but that's a whole different story for another time" She sighed looking off at nothing in particular. I now felt an even bigger need to know more about this girl, this beautiful girl who seemed to care for someone she didn't need to care about. "It's sad mine has been worse than what it is now, way worse." I muttered realizing what I had said. "What? I didn't mean it was bad now, I mean this is the best time of my life really and I guess that's sad to say but I love Charlie and love it here even though I hate the cold."

"Well it's a good thing I'm warmer than my siblings" Alice laughed a little even as she realized what she just said she just tried to play it off cool. I sat next to her and reached out to touch the girls arm. "You are warm" I said plainly smiling at her before laying back against the couch. I was so tired all this new stuff was wearing me out. My eyes started to close just to rest my eyes for a while and when I opened them again I wasn't on the couch anymore. I was in my bed. Rubbing my eyes to try and get make the room look in focus I turned and almost jumped out of the bed when I saw Alice laid there, her small frame didn't seem to even move with the bed as it rocked from my earlier fright.

She then realized my shock of her laying there next to me and frowned "I shouldn't have done that."

I was still trying to register what just happened. "No! You shouldn't have! When I wake up the last thing I ever would want to see is some fucking stranger next to me!" I yelled at her getting off my bed, "now get out!" I added in a growl but she didn't move at all. "Get out!" I yelled again and finally she slowly got off, her head hung down and walked past me, down the stairs and out he front door. I watched as she left before finally shutting the door and going over to slump myself down on the lounge chair. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

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	2. The Bad Influence?

**Author: Jasmin's Ninja (Formerly Cat Onyx )  
Story: Monsters  
Rating: M for Sexual References, Abuse and language  
Chapter 2: The Bad Influence?**

**Author Notes: New character is introduced in this chapter!**

_**I live inside... my own make believe, I sacrifice... what you can't see.**_

Where was she? Where the heck was she? I hadn't seen Alice at school all day and it already last period. I did however see her brother Edward a few times just staring at me and her boyfriend was in this class sat behind me. I tried not to pay attention to him and focus on my work but then I felt something cold tapping my back, like someone was touching me with an ice cube which in turn totally killed my focus. I turned around and it was Jasper with the same pain filled look on his face. "Ma'am I have your hoodie. You left it in Alice's car yesterday and she asked me to hand it back to you" He said in a southern accent. Ma'am? Who says that? "Oh, thanks" I muttered taking my piece of clothing from his hands. He was a nice enough guy, maybe I'd talk to him or something some other time when I wasn't in so much worry.

A few minutes later the home bell went and I got up and walked out to my locker putting the hoodie I got back off Jasper and my books and bag in there. I continued on front door where I saw Jasper holding it open for me. "Here you go Ma'am" he forced out a smile.

"Thanks." I also forced out a smile for him and walked out to the parking lot to see Charlie hadn't come yet to pick me up. I sat there for a while before this group of girls called my name. I turned to them a little nervously and a girl with skin that could match the paleness of mine, but not compete with how pale Alice was smiled. She had blonde hair reaching just past her chin "Hey, want to hang out with us for a while?" she turned her head to the side to a girl who was behind her and it was then I realized her hair was side parted and the hair that covered a smaller area of her head was cut much shorter. She had piercings all in her face too. I saw three on her bottom lip, her nostril was pieced, she had the area between the upper part of the bridge of her nose pieced, her eyebrow and had a implant one on her cheek and about three or so in her ear. How did metal detectors not go off when she went near them?

"Uh, sure" I said probably against my better judgment but I'd never been allowed to do anything before, I wanted to be a normal teenager was that so bad? "Great, my name's Riley and my mates back here are Christina and Sarah" she pointed at each of them as she said their names and I saw that Christina and Sarah looked pretty much the same except for their hair style and colour. Christina's was past her shoulders and was dyed orange whereas Sarah's was shorter in the front they were both shorter than Riley and I wasn't surprised, they were probably taller than me still It's just that Riley was extremely tall and lanky. I estimated she was at least 6 ft, if not 6'5 as opposed to my 5'4 she was about a good 30 centimeters taller than me.

"Hey man, Sarah and I gotta' go. Some shit down at the cemetery or something" Christina said grabbing her what I figured to be twin sister away. "See ya' tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." Riley called out after them before turning to me, "well I guess it's just me and you then eh Shorty?" What was with the nickname? I mean, Shorty? Alice could be called that but me, I wasn't THAT short. "Don't call me that" I said just firm enough to let her know I was being serious. "Aw, you don't like that name then do you? How about beautiful?" she had a smirk on my face, that smirk getting bigger the harder I blushed. "I'm not beautiful though" I looked down as I mumbled that.

"You can keep telling yourself that but I don't agree beautiful" Riley said grinning. "So what can we do? My mates having a party tonight, wanna be my date?" She chuckled. I guessed she was just playing around so I said yes. "Where is it?"

"Down at the reservation." She said. I must have looked like I didn't have any idea where that was so she continued, "near La push. The beach. It's at Corey's. I heard Leah and Jacobs gonna be there. I kind of remember Jacob mentioning something about a Bella here or there. Do you know him?"

I shook my head and grabbed her hand she reached out. "Oh well, let's go. You don't have a problem with motorbikes do you?" She giggled walking me over to her ride. An old looking motorbike. "Um. Is that thing safe?" I questioned eyeing it as if I was going to die the moment I even touched it. "In the right hands it is, and believe me when I ride it my hands are right." She got on patting the back of it, "jump on and wrap your arms around me so you don't die. Oh, and get out the spare helmet from the carry bag at the back"

I did as I was instructed and got on wrapping my arms around her slender waist closing my eyes so the darkness would serve as a comfort, not seeing the trees around me whipping past. At last, we were there and I had no idea where 'there' was. It was just a place with loads of people but hey, this is what teenagers do isn't it? Anyway it could be fun... I hope.

"Um Riley, I haven't really done this before. I'm not very good at… Social… Things. So what I'm trying to say is…" I paused knowing I'd come off as such a big loser saying what I was going to say, "please don't leave me alone here." And like magic my face went red.

"Aw, beautiful I wouldn't do that. Now, how 'bout a drink?" She asked grabbing my hand leading me to the party. There were people everywhere and I didn't recognize any one of them. Some were already drunk, lots were kissing and when I saw two girls kissing I felt myself smile. Why was I smiling? I still couldn't get the stupid little smile off my face.

"Like what you're seeing eh?" Riley chuckled a little seeing what caused Bella to smile. I blushed looking away and up at Riley's face. "I… I dunno." I confessed.

"Ah, your confusion is so cute you know that?. So, a drink yeah?" She asked looking at me suspiciously, "you have drank before right?" I pursed my lips together and replied "social retard you're talking to remember?" I then looked away from her face and down at the floor suddenly finding the grains of dirt beneath my feet interesting.

"Well, as I've said I'll be with you all of tonight. Why wouldn't I? I have a little crush on you beautiful" she grinned and my mouth looked up, my jaw hanging open in shock. Wow. How did she so casually say things like that. Must be a pretty bold upfront person but I wasn't sure if it was just a playful thing to say, like because she was so bold and out there with it that it was hard to think she actually meant it. "So, should I go get a drink. Do you want to come..?" She asked obviously not wanting to leave my side. "yeah, I'll just stay standing here" I said with a smile wondering what I got myself into. I stared at my hands for a while as if they'd do something more than just be hands but they didn't and soon I became bored of them so I looked around at the people again. They were entertaining.

'_Hey, she was short_ .' I thought to myself seeing a girl standing over at the direction Riley went. Wait. Alice? Yes it was and she was dancing towards me, well not dancing but hell, with the way she walks it may as well be and then there was Riley behind me coming towards me. It was like a race and wow did Riley look tall stood near Alice. Alice only stood about up around where Riley's breasts were.

I saw that Alice's mouth had opened about to say something but as soon as it did "Hey beautiful!" Riley called out leaving the smaller girl wordless. When she reached me she handed me a bottle of beer. My nose went to the bottle neck and sniffed. It smelled kind of foul kind of like how he…

I drowned the bottle in a matter of seconds and looked back at Riley. "Woah, are you sure you haven't drank before?" Riley chuckled a little nervously taking a few gulps of the bottle she had in her hand. I nodded. "I know how it works though. Is there anything else? Like other than beer?" I asked looking around to see if I could see Alice again but she had disappeared. "Yeah babe, inside there's jello-shots and some other shots." She said with a grin on her face, her eyebrows raised a little in shock. "Let's go then" I was just aiming to keep my mind off everything I didn't even think about how this was a bad idea. I knew it was but I didn't want to think it was.

I took it upon myself to grab Riley's hand and lead her in the house and yes, there were looks from people as we did but I didn't care. I found the table. "Riley, lean down for me" I asked and she did so I moved my head to whisper in her ear "let's play a game. You know who Alice is right?" She nodded. "Well you or I see her let's take a shot and since we've already seen her.." I took a shot glass off the table and drowned it all in one go. "Your go." I watched as she followed my lead drinking the strong liquor. My mind was screaming NO! But I wasn't listening this time. I watched as Riley looked around, obviously looking for Alice and she must have saw her. "Round two Bella!" She called out handing me another one. It burned as it went down and I coughed a little.

"Hey let's sit down or something" I said pointing over at a chair. She grabbed my hand and maneuvered me through the people trying to dance and we sat down. "So Bella, why do you dress like that?" She asked looking me up and down which earned a blush from me.

"Like what?" I asked defensively with a smile on my face as I fiddled with my top.

"Well, you're wearing guys jeans a few sizes too big for you which make them baggy, a plain shirt and then a checkered button-up shirt over the top of that." She smiled before looking down at the ground. "Oh, and converse. Nice" She grinned her goofy grin.

"Well, I didn't have much clothes when I came here and these are my dad's. He offered to take me out to buy some stuff but I would have probably got something similar to this anyway. I don't know. It's comfy."

She leaned in so her face was just inches from mine and whispered "well, I think it's sexy" she kept her face near mine and I felt my heart rate increase. Was I nervous? If so, why? I mean, I wasn't… Was I? I couldn't be. I liked… men. Well why did I just mentally shudder then? Shut up brain! I was just Bella, that was all. Just plain old boring Bella.

"Bella!" A soft yet harsh voice called out. I turned to see who it was and as I did I heard Riley sigh. I still was hesitant to whether Riley liked me or not most of that was the fact I couldn't believe anyone could like me though. It was Alice.

"Huh?" was all I could manage to say. "Can I talk to you?" She asked calm as anything. "I.. Uh.." I had no idea what to say. I looked at Riley as if she had the answer but she was just as confused as me. "I'll be back beautiful" Riley said without a smile going over to the drinks leaving me some time with Alice but I wasn't sure I wanted time alone to talk to her. I was still nervous and worried that she had been avoiding me.

"I really shouldn't be here at all. Which brings me to the question why are you here? I'm sorry about the other day, I'm really sorry but I get ahead of myself. It's a bad flaw, I just never met anyone like you and I know, just know you're going to become important to me and I know I sound like a creeper but just be careful and did Jasper give you back that jumper? Oh and sorry I wasn't at school today. I just had to think about things and it kind of hurt when you yelled at me, I know I did the wrong thing but I don't know. I was… Scared to see you today. Haha! You wouldn't guess that, someone like me, scared to talk to someone but there you go and I really shouldn't be here. I'm really not allowed here and if someone sees me that knows about certain things well, I'm going to get in trouble and…" She trailed off and I saw Riley sit back down handing me a shot glass.

Wow. Did Alice even take a breath saying all of that. I forgot most of what she said but somewhere in my head registered it as she wasn't angry with me and it was all good. "Hey Alice, want a drink?" Riley offered. "No, I don't drink I'm afraid" Alice muttered turning away. "I'll see you tomorrow Bella, come sit with me" And then Alice was gone.

"I think she likes you Bella" Riley teased punching my arm playfully. "She does not!" God no, I was blushing! Why was I blushing! "She has a boyfriend"

"Yeah but that doesn't mean she doesn't like you."

"Well I don't know" I said as I drank the shot Riley gave me. "I think she's left now anyway." I got up shortly followed my Riley over to the shot table and turned to Riley "want to have a competition, lets see who can take the most shots in 10 seconds" I grinned wanting to get my mind off all the stuff running around me mind.

"Uh Bella, this is your first time drinking. I don't think that's such a good idea" Riley said a little hesitant.

"I want to though" I murmured running my hand around one the rim of one of the glasses. "Well, okay then but I'm pretty good" She looked like she knew she had this in the bag. "Hey, Corey mate, come here and count us down from 10" She called out and this guy who stood a few inches shorter than her with shoulder length blonde hair came over. "Who's this then Riley?"

"Bella, beautiful isn't she?" Riley grinned. "Okay ready bella?"

I nodded having my hand ready to pick up the glass.

"Go!" Corey shouted and I instantly picked it up and drank it as fast as I could. Onto the next one… and the next, and the next, and the next, and the next…

The sound of glass hitting the table was the only indication I had of how fast Riley was going and I still had no idea who was going to win when Corey shouted stop I looked down at the empty glasses and counted them all.

13 empty glasses. I knew enough to know that that's more than enough to get you drunk. I looked over at Riley's and saw she had 14. "Damn you win" I muttered holding onto her a little. "Okay Bella, I think that's enough alcohol for you. Go sit back down I'll get you some water so you don't feel so terrible tomorrow. "Oh, I don't feel bad. I'm fine" I said not wanting her to bother but I went over to where we were sat before anyway. "Oh, believe me you will feel the effects later" she called out after me going into the kitchen.

I was fine really I was… Wait, why was I starting to feel dizzy. I really shouldn't have drunk so much. I felt the couch move as someone sat down next to me and turned to see it was Riley. "You don't look as bad as I feel" I muttered looking over at her taking the glass of water off her sipping it slowly. "I'm used to it, where as you… Well you really shouldn't have drank so much" She chuckled a little resting her head on my shoulder. "Bella is a great name for you. It means Beautiful and that's exactly what you are." I felt her head move and I looked over and felt her moving closer to me "So beautiful…" Riley murmured, her face moving closer to me. She was going to kiss me and I.. I… wasn't totally opposed to that thought. I felt as her lips made contact with mine and felt as mine moved with hers. I felt as her arms moved to around my waist and mine moved around her neck. I felt her tongue trailing across my lips, I felt her piecing's slightly tickling my lip and then I felt as she was pulled off me.

My eyes shot open and saw Riley on the ground and Alice standing above her. Was she yelling? I couldn't focus I closed my eyes trying to regain my hearing and heard "don't you ever touch her when she's drunk! You took advantage of her!"

How did Alice even manage to get Riley on the ground? Someone behind Riley helped her up and she stood towering over the small girl. "You shouldn't even be here. You should really think about leaving before my friends see you" Riley told Alice "Bella, I think we should go back to my place. It's not too far. We'll walk" she walked over to me and helped me up wrapping her arm around me to steady me as we walked out of the house. I saw Corey on the way out and he looked worried. "Hey Riley, you okay?"

"Yeah, can you look after my bike though?"

"Sure" he gave an apologetic smile to Riley as we continued on. About ten minutes of walking and some stumbling we made it to her house walking into the front door and into her room and then it was that 'oh god she's going to kiss me' moment but instead she whispered "are you tired?" I nodded and looked over to the bed which began my dangerous journey over to it. Of course on the way I fell face first into the ground. "Shit Bella! Are you okay?" I heard Riley trying not to laugh as she tried to help me up but as she was drunk she managed to fall onto the floor again her chest now heaving with her laughter. I couldn't help laughing at our misfortune as well all the while my face red.

Once we did make it to her bed, and believe me it took a while in-between the stumbling and giggling I watched as she lay there, her feet dangling off the bed since she was so tall and I watched as she closed her eyes smiling sleep taking over her. It wasn't long after that that I felt my eyes starting to close and I feared what I saw next_._

_Where was I? I stood in this clearing surrounded by trees and more trees. The sky wasn't moving on bit and it was blue. Actually blue.. In forks, I thought that was impossible. The closer I went to the trees the further away they seemed and in the end I sighed dropping down on the ground._

"_Bella, it's fucking time!" Oh no. I froze. I knew that voice. It was Phil's. He was here! I looked around but I couldn't see him at all. My body went into panic mode, thrashing left and right looking for the source of the voice but there was nothing. I was alone and I couldn't get away and then he was right in front of me naked, disgusting and foul, his hands moving and violating my body. My eyes closed not wanting to witness what was about to happen but my ears could still hear the disgusting things he was whispering to me but what was that crashing sound? Like trees being bowled over?_

_His hands were gone and a breath of relief came from my lips. I opened my eyes to see him under a huge white wolf. The wolf looked wrong though, as if it was deformed somehow. It was ripping Phil apart from limb to limb right in front of me though, blood spraying all over me as the body parts were flung I got some of the blood splattered on my face and so there I was looking and witnessing a brutal attack covered in the victims blood but really could you call him the victim after what he did to me? The wolf stood up on its hind legs. It looks like a mutated human it looked like a… Werewolf._

_Werewolf… No it couldn't be. This must have been a dream! The wolf-thing started walking closer to me dropping down on all fours inching its way closer when a small figure pummeled into it knocking the beast to the ground. The figure went to bite the werewolf. How was that going to work? The wolf kept dodging the bites before kicking the small girl off with its hind legs. I saw the girls face. It was Alice! Her ribs or something would have broken with the force of that kick but she stood right back up running toward the werewolf who was charging toward her. When their bodies collided there was a huge crash and the werewolf got Alice between its teeth throwing her away back toward the forest. It's sights were now set back on me walking closer but then it got tackled once again by a group of people and I saw Alice come running back attacking it too. The people were biting it over and over as it whined in pain. It looked like they were drinking from it._

_The werewolf started jerking around howling in pain and it got smaller, it was morphing into a human and there she was. It was Riley. She was screaming in pain, it was ear and heart shattering. The people looked towards me, their chins covered in blood and their eyes red. It was the Cullens. They looked hungry, growling at me inching closer until they attacked._

I woke up with a jolt breathing hard I looked over at Riley. She was still sound asleep. She must be out like a light. I went to get up but then collapsed back on the bed. Oh god. My head. I groaned forcing myself up. My head felt like it was going to explode. I stumbled to the door fumbling my way around in the dark and down the hallway to the kitchen turning the light on. I wish I knew where the painkillers were all I had was loads and loads and LOADS of water. I couldn't believe how thirsty I was. It was like I was in the middle of the desert and about to drink my own urine because I was so thirsty.

After I was done drinking what seemed like an endless amount of water I trotted back to Riley's room and flopped back down next to her falling asleep, this time without any nightmares.

**So, I'm not really happy with this chapter but there you go.  
Also, in my opinion the 'werewolves' in Twilight were pretty pathetic so I've changed the look of them a little so they're more werewolf-like. If you don't like that, you can imagine them the same as they are in Twilight.**

**And what do you guys think about Riley! Hate her? Love her?**


	3. He isn't such a bad guy after all

**Author: Jasmin's Ninja (Formerly Cat Onyx )  
Story: Monsters  
Rating: M for Sexual References, Abuse and language  
Chapter 2: He isn't such a bad guy after all..**

_**I'm hissing mad and I'm dripping wet.**_

I woke up to the bright sun shining in my face. When my eyes opened it felt like I was a vampire being burned by the sun my body instantly hid under the protection of the blanket that was, until I smelt breakfast. My nose woke up my legs; ordering them to follow the scent of bacon and eggs my stomach rumbling in thanks. Sitting down at the table my mouth twisted into a smile at Riley, the smile thanking her for cooking breakfast for me but my mind couldn't conjure up how she could be up and look absolutely fine. My body felt disgusting and there was no doubt that my appearance was any better after last night.

"How are you even up. I feel like I'm going to collapse" I said as I played with the food on my plate before starting to devour it like a lion would its prey.

"Lots of practice I guess but…" Riley trailed off looking uneasy as her fingers played with the kitchen counter, tapping it.

What happened? The food that was being shoveled into my mouth stopped and I looked up at her "but?"

"I kind of maybe sort of didn't get up in time for school…" she glanced over at the clock "it's like 1 pm"

I just laughed and continued to shove the food into my mouth. "You do realize my fathers the chief of Police. He's not gonna be happy with you."

"Hey, who couldn't love me" she said as her lip pouted before adding "but yeah… I've actually run into him before, or him into me… After I ran out of the woods naked… It was all just a big misunderstanding really but I think he'd be too embarrassed the second my name is mentioned to be angry so that works out well doesn't it?" Riley grinned as she sat down to start eating.

"So should we go to school late or just skip the rest of the day?" I didn't know whether I wanted to go or not. I didn't want to blow off Alice but it'd already been past lunch and I didn't really relish the idea of going to school in the first place.

"I'd rather just spend some time with you doing something." She said, her face smiling and my lips couldn't help but to respond and smile back at her. It was only now I noticed how pretty she was

"I'm glad this school year is almost over. Oh wait, it's only February. Well, it feels like it should be over. Anyway. One more year after this and I'm finally done" Riley grinned staring at my face. It made me felt conscious, like there was food all over my face or something.

"You keep looking at me, is there something on my face or something?" I asked wiping my face just in case.

"No, you're just… Bella."

After we finished eating Riley suggested we go down to the beach. I agreed as long as I didn't have to get in the water. We walked out to the front door and I heard Riley laugh. "Hey look, my bikes here. Trust Corey to push it all the way here. He's an awesome mate but he really likes me" I heard her sigh a little.

Was the bike not there last night? I pretty much forgot everything about last night. I remember getting on the bike to get to the party, the beer, the first couple of shots and then nothing. "Why don't you go out with him then?"

"You don't remember anything about last night do you beautiful?" Riley asked smiling, but this time the smile didn't reach her blue eyes.

"Not really, why did something bad happen?"

"It doesn't matter, come on let's go" she said walking out the front gate and pass the bike. "We're walking?"

"Yeah, it isn't that far you'll make it" Riley joked taking hold of my hand as we walked and it wasn't that far at all. About a 15 minute walk and we were there. It was completely deserted but that was a good thing. We decided to sit on the logs above the beach and just talk.

"Do you live with your parents or something?" I asked her fiddling with the log trying to pick pieces off of it.

"No, my dad left when I was little and my mum died a few years ago so since then I've been living alone. You should have seen me back then all prim and proper. Nothing like I am now."

"Oh… I'm sorry" I muttered. I hate getting told things like this, I never knew what to say.

"Nah it's okay it isn't _your_ fault." Riley said almost bitterly. There was something behind the words and I was curious.

"So then who's fault was it?" My fingers began digging at the bark more furiously.

"My mum was already depressed. I remember almost every morning I'd go out to the kitchen and she'd be there crying. I did try to make her feel better but then she started seeing things that aren't real and convinced herself she was insane and she couldn't live with herself. One morning she wasn't in the kitchen and…" Riley choked to hold back tears and my arms wrapped around the girl to try and console her.

"I just don't know what to say Riley. I'm sorry" I said trying and failing to make her feel better.

"It's okay. Do you remember last night on the couch?" She asked wiping her eyes and looking at me.

"Not really…" I confessed desperately trying to remember but I just couldn't.

"We kissed" She revealed scoffing a little while she looked at me.

"Wow… Really? I… I don't…" I choked out in amazement. I didn't remember it at all and I didn't know if I liked it or anything.

"Yeah and I know you're confused and stuff but I just thought you should know and partly because Alice is going to probably mention it. She really got mad at me. Told you she likes you."

And just then, insta-blush came on! "I don't know if I'm like that… I'm sorry" I muttered.

"It's fine, it's not like I want to rape you or anything. You're just cool to hang out with and corrupt" and the way she said that, her voice so innocent. I just stared at her with a 'what' look on my face and watched as she burst into laughter. "What?"

"Nothing Bella" she laughed, "you're so cute when you don't know what's going on anyway. I think I should return you to Charlie. Come on, let's go" she grabbed my hand, "but I want to show you something first, come with me" I followed her as she lead me to the waters edge and before I knew it she picked me up, stumbled into the water and threw me down getting me drenched. I screamed of course. The water was ice cold. I got up and ran back to the shore laughing a little but freezing my ass off when I heard a guys voice "is that Bella Swan?"

I turned around and saw a tanned guy with long black hair looking at me with a giant grin. "Jake?" I must have pulled that name from my memory because I couldn't really recognize him. "Yep, Jacob Black right here. It's your lucky day." He winked and grabbed me in a hug.

"You do remember me right? The mudpies and stuff when we were tiny?" He asked with his arms still around me. "Um…" I tried to remember and images flashed in my mind. I remembered… Slightly. "I kind of do. You were my best friend right? Yeah, you were awesome" I grinned trying to pull away. It's not that I didn't want the hug. It was that I didn't want a hug for that long. He got the hint and let go. "Aw, no more hug? Anyone would kill for a hug from me" as he said that I heard Riley scoff.

"Did I interrupt you trying to make a move on Bella Riley? Aw, too bad. Bella let's get outa here" He started pulling my hand, pulling me away from Riley. "Hey what are you doing. I'm hanging out with Riley. I don't want to just leave her." I said trying to pull my hand from his grip but I couldn't.

"You don't want to hang out with her, she just wants you Bella. Wouldn't you much rather want to talk to me and catch up with me?"

"No, I was talking to Riley" I looked back at Riley for help and she got up and she was a few inches taller than even Jacob. I started getting upset now, being held against my will was something I was all too familiar with.

"Dude what the fuck? Let her go" Riley shouted at him and something must have clicked in his head because he did and apologized. "I'm sorry Bella, I'm not really friends with Riley. Well, I hate her and I guess I was just excited about getting to see you." He scratched his head. "Call me or something. I promise I won't be a jerk next time." He said before jogging off.

"What was that all about?"

"He really doesn't like me. He thinks I shouldn't live on this land or something and I think he's homophobic. But hey, let's head back to my place."

As we walked back to her place we talked about Jacob.

"So you really remember him huh?" Riley asked.

"Yeah, from when we were kids. He was more gentle back then though"

"Probably not as cocky either. I personally can't stand guys like him. Don't know why I dated him" She muttered.

"But I thought you were…" I trailed off hoping she'd get what I was trying to say.

"Yeah, that was back when I was trying to be 'prim and proper' for my mum. It felt wrong on SO many scales" She laughed thinking back at it, "maybe that's another reason why he seems to hate me so much."

"Remember the bike? Round two" she smirked getting on with me following her, my arms snaking around her waist after putting the helmet on. Once again my eyes shut because it magically made it less scary. When I saw Charlie run out the minute we stopped in front of the house shouting at the person currently unknown to him in front of me. "Where did you take Bellla! Your parents are going to be called young man!" He growled angrily and looked seriously taken back when Riley took off her helmet.

"Hey Chief Swan, remember me? It's Riley"

He went red instantly. "Oh well, um. Thanks for… bringing Bella home." He stuttered not meeting Rileys eyes. "Bella slept over mine" she smiled at Charlie and gave me an apologetic glance whispering "I'll see you at school tomorrow" and then she left.

"Have fun?" Charlie muttered leading me inside. He was still dressed in his uniform as he slumped into his chair watching some sport on tv. "Yeah and I saw Jake, you remember Jake don't you?"

"Oh yeah, I'm friends with his Father. Good kid."

"Yeah." And that was the end of the conversation. He didn't talk much and since I didn't most of the time it wasn't awkward. It just was how we were. I went up to my room spending the rest of the day in my room reading some book Charlie got me.

I arrived at school the next morning with Charlie of course dropping me off and telling me he won't be late this time and that I'd better be there. I don't think he liked the whole skipping out on him thing the other day. I saw Riley with her friends so I went up to her and spent some time with her before class. It was a shame she wasn't in any of my classes, there was only Mike pretty much and he was annoying. Alice wasn't here again. Why was I so worried? Why did I want her to be here? She wasn't there for the two weeks that followed either so for those two weeks I just spent as much time as I could with Riley and her mates with the numerous glares from Edward. He still hadn't gotten the hint. I still wasn't allowed to do anything other than school because Charlie was punishing me.

The day Alice was back at school was the day Riley told me news that I would really rather would have not known.

"Hey Bella, can I talk to you?" Riley asked taking hold of my hand leading me to a secluded spot in the school grounds. "I wanted you to be the first to know I'm changing schools. I really don't want to but I have to. I'm going to La Push High on the Reservation" Riley said grimly. That was such a shock. I didn't know how to react, she was the only real friend I had here and the only person I hung out with. "I promise I'll still talk to you when you're ungrounded and stuff Bella. You have my number" She added her face without a smile as she said these words.

"But you're the only friend I have here… I…" I had no idea what to say as tears ran down my face. "I've gotten past my little tiff with Alice and she's more than willing to spend time with you. She does care about you. It's a little creepy, but she does and don't worry. If she mucks you around I'll bash her up" Riley tried to joke but saw it wasn't working so her arms wrapped around me. "Don't be upset." She said, her voice almost pleading.

My brain told the rest of my body to stop shaking and my eyes to stop leaking and after a while they complied. "I'll see you soon beautiful" she grinned going over to her bike waving before she took off.

It was still the morning so I just walked inside the cafeteria and saw Alice sitting alone at a table. Deciding I should probably confront her and talk to her I went over to her sitting down in a seat in front of her. I didn't say anything not knowing what to really say and I didn't have to.

"I'm really sorry Bella. I shouldn't have acted like I did when I saw you and Riley. I was just really tense where I was because I'm really not allowed on that land because of this thing and it's really stupid but yeah I don't even know why I'm telling you this and I don't even know why I'm nervous around you. It's silly really, with what I am and you did get that hoodie back didn't you? I hope that man of mine did as he was told. He owed me a favor and I knew he wouldn't have done anything stupid. Silly boy loves me too much. Oh and Edward wants to talk to you. I can't work out if it's going to end badly or well though. And yeah, I'm sorry."

A few minutes later after finally being able to register all she said I replied. "You shouldn't apologize. You, you didn't do anything. You were the first person to actually help me and stuff" as I mumbled that my hands fiddled with each other. Alice sighed sounding relieved, "oh, well great then. I really imagined you to be angry at my lapses in judgment. Anyway, how are you?" I was surprised she didn't start floating up she was beaming so much. Her overjoy actually brought me up and I found myself drenched into the words she was saying.

"I'm okay. Um, Riley said…" I said trying to get her to talk about what happened.

"Oh yes, her. Despite our differences we're on the same page. We're both drawn to you for whatever reason and well, I would like to get to know you so as sadistic as this sounds her leaving, knowing it hurt you, has given me a good chance to get to know you."

Okay. That was kind of a harsh thing to say but I got her point and I really couldn't get angry at her. She was so ickle. "Oh well, there isn't much to know. I lived with my mother and then I ran away to the only other place I knew. Charlies."

Alice pursed her lips deep in concentration. "Well, what kind of things do you like? Shopping?"

I scoffed. "Yeah right, do you see me shopping?"

"Well, maybe not now but you might"

"I highly doubt that. And, I don't really… Like things. I never really… Did stuff but I guess… I like reading."

"You really ought to do more things. I don't know how anyone could stand to live in a life _so _boring" Alice said in amazement, her green eyes… I found myself gazing into them almost mesmerized. "Alice, may I ask what _she_ is doing here?" It was Edward and I silently cursed him for making Alice look away from me. I didn't even hear Alice talk or see her mouth moving. "Oh, well that's a good change" he smiled looking right at me without hate in his eyes for the first time since we saw each other.

"Isabella, I don't think we've been introduced properly. I'm Edward Cullen" He introduced himself holding his hand out to me. I took it even though I had to stop breathing so tears wouldn't flow down my face. "Bella, please" and damn, I could hear the pleading in my voice saying those words. "Oh, sorry." He was smiling at me. He told me he changed his timetable to suit my classes and that he was taking me out after school. Why didn't I refuse? Because I was scared AND because I wanted him to talk to me. I don't know why or what was going through my head but HE was paying attention to me. Every other girl wanted him and here he was talking to me. It made me feel special, beautiful in it's own way.

After biology we walked into the cafeteria and over to Alice. None of his other siblings were there and the whole lunch Alice didn't say anything. She kept to herself. I figured it was because her boyfriend wasn't here but as soon as Edward excused himself she perked up.

"Hey Bella. Why aren't you eating. You aren't a vampire" her laughter echoed in my ears as she said that. She seemed to find it more funny than it should be, like I was missing something. "Oh, I'm not really hungry." I muttered looking down at my hands fiddling with each other. That was a lie, I was starving. My stomach growled at me wanting food.

"Oh come on Bella, I can hear you're hungry. What's the real reason you're not eating?" She chimed not angry, just happily concerned. "You guys aren't eating and I didn't want to be the only one eating and feel fat" I mumbled again, my hands furiously fighting each other.

Alice laughed getting up off her seat almost skipping over to where they were serving food she picked up two trays, paid for them and started making her way back over to me, her eyes totally focused on my own she didn't see some guy put his foot out in front of her, but I did and before my mouth got the chance to open and warn her she stumbled over his leg and she was heading towards the floor but how she managed to not fall and stand up right was beyond me. There she stood, the trays still in her hands with all the food on them smiling. "I hope you had fun there, I did" she smiled sweetly at the guy who did it. He looked taken back. It was an amusing expression to see on some jocks face. "Yeah whatever, go back over to that leso." Wait what? Really, what? I was just staring, my mind working out what he meant . He directed it towards me. What? Just… What? I still had that puzzled shock look on my face as Alice sat down.

"Don't worry about him, he's a jerk." Alice said. I didn't look up, I didn't want her to see the tears forming in my eyes. I just grabbed my lunch tray and started picking at the sandwich that was on my plate. When I was satisfied I wouldn't actually cry I looked up and saw Alice making a face at the food . "What's wrong, you can have mine if you prefer ham over chicken." I offered looking at the facial expressions she was pulling while inspecting the food.

"No, I'm just a really fussy eater." She smiled bringing the food to her mouth. I waited, watching her take a bite and she raised her eyebrows as if saying 'this is better than I expected' and swallowed. "Tastes WAY better than it smells." She grinned eating the food. It made me feel alright about eating so I did. It was like I didn't eat in years, I ate it so fast. Slowing down every so often because Alice was eating so slow. But when she saw me do this she ate like a pig probably so I'd feel okay about eating. I wanted to thank her, but I think my smiling was enough for her to get that I was.

I was watching Alice as I ate and she suddenly froze and I heard… was she growling? Some ones hand planted on my shoulder pulling me back against my seat. Turning around I saw it was that guy that tried to trip Alice earlier. "Hey babe" his disgusting voice whispered in my ear, "I could teach you to like dick." He laughed pulling me off the chair onto the ground and I could hear someone breathing, heavily. Someone hyperventilating. It took me a while to realise that was me. I was hyperventilating with the situation I was in. It reminded me of similar scenarios I've been in; ones I didn't want to be reminded of.

He was kneeling on my stomach then he just wasn't. I looked over and saw Alice pinning him to a wall. It was an interesting sight seeing a girl under 5 ft pin a massive guy like that against a wall. Alice had a momentary lapse in concentration as she looked back over at me. "Are you al-" the guys fist dove right into the small girls face knocking her down and what was I doing? I was just laying there hyperventilating. I couldn't even get up. Where the hell was Edward?

I had to do something. Anything! I got up, tears strolling down my face and ran over to Alice despite the guy who was trying to get over to her for seconds but he was being held back by a few people. "Alice, are you okay?" I said, worry wracking my voice. Kneeling between her legs my eyes trailed up her body to her face and saw blood. Her nose was bloody. I reactively flinched back and whimpered at the sight. "I'm fine" Alice said. I saw her smile until she covered her face with her hands. "Don't worry about me, I'll be back."

I got up and went back over to where we were sat my appetite completely gone and sure enough Alice returned like she said she was and she looked fine. "Aren't you going to tell the principal or anything about this?" I asked looking anywhere but at her.

"I can take care of myself, trust me." She grinned getting up "the bell is going to ring in a second, let's get you to class" and it did.

I didn't see Edward for the rest of the day. Did he ditch me? Not that I cared really, I could do without the endless stares he gave me.

I saw him after school. I was really hoping to see Alice but it was him who was waiting for me. "Bella, sorry for not coming back. I had business to take care of, would you like to come with me so I can make it up?" he asked and I don't know why but I agreed. Charlie is going to kill me.

So here we were in the middle of this meadow and I couldn't stop thinking that this was the exact same meadow from my dream, that nightmare and where I saw Edward feeding on Riley. "Isn't it beautiful here? I go here when I want to be alone. You're the only person I have ever taken here in all my years. You're special. I can't figure you out so it's quite intriguing." He said motioning me to sit down. Sitting down I looked up at him and mumbled "there isn't much to figure out really." Not wanting to look at his reaction I looked away from him.

"Well, I'm still interested and I'll wait to find out more about you." He smiled sitting down next to me. For a few hours we talked and laughed and then…

"Bella… You're intoxicating" he whispered, his face getting closer to mine and all that was running through my mind was Riley. Yes, Riley.. Why? I don't know but she did tell me she kissed me and then as I thought about these thoughts I felt his lips against mine. Eyes closed instead of seeing darkness I started seeing that night at the party. Edwards lips were not his own, but Riley's. I was kissing Riley's lips back and it was a strange feeling. I tried to imagine Edward but once I was able to it was just… Not right and he was so cold. It was like sticking your lips to an icy pole. He pulled away smiling a little before kissing me again. Eyes closing automatically, I saw not him but Alice. What was going on? Imagining kissing my friends? How could I be so sick?

After a while he pulled away with a really uneasy look on his face. I was so glad he couldn't read my thoughts he'd have been so mad. "So" he smiled, "wanna go out with me?" I looked away, my mouth open having no idea what to say or what to think but the fact that someone wanted me, someone asked me out… Soon my lips curved into a smile while my cheeks were on fire. "Yes" with the feeling of being wanted guiding me to that answer.

***Gasp* O:**

**Constructive criticism and praise welcome. **


	4. The persuading power of a running shower

**Author: Jasmin's Ninja (Formerly Cat Onyx )  
Story: Monsters  
Rating: M for Sexual References, Abuse and language  
Chapter 4: The persuading power of a running shower and a vibrator**

**I hate writing Edward parts… Bleh. So I skipped the whole relationship building thing with Bella and him. Just imagine it like how he was in Twilight as their relationship grew.  
I also realised I made a mistake with the whole chapter thing in the 3rd chapter, so ignore that. I'm retarded.**

**So, this is a longer chapter and it has lots of explaining, but also interesting stuff happens ;)  
****Oh, also there's kinda sexual scenes in this chapter. So warning there.**

******_I have no father, I have no pet and I'll be damned the day I die  
Your anti-muse, your anti-lie_**

Things were looking up. Edward proved to be quite a loving man, though very protective it made me feel safe. He wouldn't let me see Riley though no matter how much I begged him to. This went on for a few months, following him everywhere he went, not seeing anyone else. This is how relationships worked right? Being so protective that you're not even allowed to see friends? He loved me, he didn't want me to get hurt, he wanted me all to himself. I should be thankful to him but I couldn't get rid of the thoughts of Riley, she called over and over but I never responded to any of her calls in fear Edward would find out. She sometimes waited for me at school but Edward would always be with me and wouldn't let me talk to her. At least I was still allowed to talk to Alice.

Laying in my bed listening to my ipod I didn't hear anyone come in but I felt the bed move and it wasn't caused by me. Edward came out of nowhere a lot. My eyes closed, I turned and kissed his cheek before opening my eyes and was greeted with a blonde-haired girl. Riley. Edward was going to kill me. I was so scared right now. "Oh, shit sorry I didn't mean to I thought you were someone else."

"Haha, it's okay I just missed you dude. Where have you been?" She punched my arm playfully before turning onto her side looking at me with her chin rested on the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry, I've just been really busy and stuff and Edward and yeah."

"Edward Cullen? Seriously, he's a bastard. You're going out with him?"

"Well, yeah he loves me and he's really protective and please don't tell him that I kissed your cheek or that party thing." I said a little surprised even after not talking to eachother for a while it was like we talked just yesterday. It was a great feeling.

"Bella, is he your first boyfriend?"

I didn't want to answer and seem like a loser but in the end.. "yeah, he is."

"Bella, does he let you go out anywhere? Do you have to tell him where you're going?"

"Yeah, because he cares"

"He's controlling you Bella." She sighed looking away from me.

"I don't think he is" I mumbled looking away. "Now can we stop talking about it."

"Dude, okay then." She paused, " We haven't talked in months, what's been going on beautiful?"

I just shrugged. "Do you want me to include the stuff that involves Edward?"

"Not really"

"Then I've done nothing. You?" I scoffed a little grinning.

"Well, I had a girlfriend, so that's new." I instantly looked up at her, jealousy stabbing my heart. I was sick and disgusting. Was my love for Edward a lie? I don't know how I could go on without him. I needed him and he needed me. Why was I jealous? Maybe because that girl got to spend time with Riley where I didn't, yeah that must be it.

"Oh." I didn't want to sound interested but really, I was.

"Yeah, _had. _She broke up with me saying she didn't love me and that she wasn't gay. It wasn't nice but she helped me get over missing you."

"You missed me?"

"Yeah, dude, tons."

"Why?"

"You know why." She looked down smiling. I honestly had an idea why but I wanted it to be confirmed.

"Tell me, please."

"You know I like you more than I should."

"Oh." My idea was confirmed.

"Bella…" Riley looked up into my eyes and before I knew it, we were tangled up on my bed, her on me kissing me, her tongue playing with mine and I didn't know how to stop it and I once again, wasn't sure I wanted to. But Edward… It wasn't fair… I loved him.

"Edward no, please don't do this please" That was Alice's voice. My lips left Riley's and she was once again pulled off me. Memories of her being pulled off me by Alice at that party hit me. I was still laid on the bed watching as Alice tried to pull Edward away from Riley who laid on the ground groaning in pain. Alice must have said something to calm him down but he glared at me and growled. "I'll deal with you later."

"Riley, are you okay?" Alice said helping the taller girl up. I was still frozen on my bed. "I'm fine." Riley hissed helping herself up. "Bella, I guess I'll see you in a year or so" she said that as a joke but her voice was filled with hurt and then she left me with Alice. "Alice, is Edward mad?" I asked her almost in tears. She walked over to me in her own unique gracious movement and cradled me in a hug sitting on my bed. "Yeah, but don't worry. He'll get over it" her voice betrayed her words. She sounded unsure. "Bella, what's with you and Riley anyway?"

"She likes me, more than a friend should but I really miss her and… I don't know" I found myself admitting to Alice. Alice was, well she was very trusting of me and I trusted her. She was becoming a best friend to me, like a sister. "Edward won't tell me what's wrong with him, can you?"

"What do you mean?" Alice sounded hesitant.

"He's cold, he doesn't eat and his eyes… All that stuff."

"I don't know if that's up to me to tell you Bella… I'm sorry."

"Please Alice, I need to know."

"But…" she sighed pausing for a while. "Okay. He's a vampire, our whole family is. Me included. I'm just not… You know how humans have abnormalities, well I'm a abnormal vampire."

"Alice, I'm not joking around. Please tell me. Is he sick?" Alice sounded deadly serious but I couldn't believe that.

"Bella, vampires are real and they're dangerous but our family, or 'coven' as they call them don't hunt humans." I still wasn't sure. Vampires? That wasn't possible

Alice got off the bed pulling me up off it with her. "How do you suppose I'd be able to do this then?" And before I knew it I was in the girls arms. She didn't even seem to struggle with my weight which was greater than hers. She carefully set me back down on the bed and asked "have I ever lied to you?"

"No."

"Well, I'm not lying now either. I understand If you don't believe me. I guess I'll go now" Alice smiled a little heading over to my window when I fond myself cry out "no, don't go, stay with me please." Alice turned around, her hair swaying a little as she did and she had the hugest grin on her face. "Keep me safe Alice, come here." She did as I wanted and there she was, laid next to me. "You're so warm" I whispered pressing my hand against her chest. "Nothing like Edward." I felt my heart beat a little faster as I made the move closer to her until I was against her warm body. Being this close to her, smelling how delicious she smelt my fears about Edward disapproving of this disappeared. "I hate the cold." I whispered as I fell asleep in Alice's arms.

I woke up smiling feeling the warm figure against me. Alice hadn't moved the whole night. Looking up I saw her smiling at me. "How long have you been away for?" I asked curious and even though she's revealed she's a vampire I knew she wouldn't hurt me. If she wanted to she had loads of chances.

"I haven't slept." She said that sounding more contented than I'd ever heard her before. Her smile, it wasn't like her usual smile, it was just relaxed and happy. Usually Alice was a pretty mobile person, always finding something to do but there she lay, just resting with me and happy to do so, not having that look in her eyes that tells me she wants to do something else. "Aren't you tired?" I asked pressing my face back against her chest. "Not really, it's a vampire thing. We don't sleep, but If I really wanted to I could. I'm like, not a proper vampire." She laughed, "and besides, I enjoyed watching you sleep. You looked so peaceful, I have never been so comfy in my life!"

"Me neither." I chuckled not moving away from her but she tensed up. Had I done something wrong? Moving away from her I saw she was staring blankly at the ceiling before coming out of her trance and smiling. "Edward wants you to meet our family today, get dressed up nice."

"What I normally wear isn't nice?" I was a little offended at that. "No, I actually really like what you wear even though it differs from what I like to wear a lot. Edward doesn't like what you wear. He says it makes you look like a raging dyke." Alice said quietly, as if she didn't want to tell me. She didn't meet my eyes as she said that. "Oh." I muttered immediately going over to my wardrobe. "Well, I don't really have anything _nice_."

"Don't worry, Edward won't get upset with you. He'll just be upset with me. I think you look lovely in your clothes and no one else will be bothered by it." Alice reached out to grab my hand and a strange tingly feeling shot up my arm. My heart decided to beat a little faster and I had no idea why. Alice had a small smile on her face. It made me think she knew something I didn't. I tried to beg my heart to stop reacting to her touch but it wouldn't listen to me. "Uh Alice?" I said as she led me down the stairs. "Yeah?" I didn't know whether to continue or not but the words came out of my mouth "you know the vampire thing, so what perks do you have?"

"Normal vampires have skin as cold as ice. I don't. They also can't be hurt easily but I can, but I repair much quicker. Normal vampires can't really. You have to rip them apart and burn them. I don't know how one would really kill me. Vampires don't have blood flowing in their veins, I do. The animals I feed on, their blood runs through my veins and gets converted into a more human blood form as it does. I also can fend off my hunger by eating human food, but I still have to feed eventually." Alice paused reaching the front door, her hand still holding mine.

"As for senses, we have better hearing, better sense of smell and we're faster. I'm quite the defensive fighter. Also, most vampires mistake me for human so if they go to attack me, they'll get quite the surprise" Alice giggled letting go of my hand and resting against a wall. "Anything else you want to know?"

"I'm not sure." I muttered walking out the door feeling Alice follow behind. "So, is Edward taking me?"

"No, he decided to not be there because he is an idiot. I'm taking you, if that's alright." She said walking past me and getting out a mobile phone and using that to call someone. Walking up next to her I listened as she called a taxi company to pick us up. "Why didn't you just get your car or carry me there?" I asked a little confused.

"Well, I have more human emotions and tendencies to actual vampires. I don't _want_ to be a vampire, I don't want to be this monster."

"I don't think you're a monster Alice." I heard Alice sigh but it sounded like a happy sigh. "Awww thank you Bella! That's cheered me up!" And the next thing I knew her arms were wrapped around me. I felt like a puppy being praised, and I loved it. I hardly ever got praised for something like this, I hardly ever got told I've done something good or right. It was a really nice change and it made my lips curve into a smile.

We sat down waiting for the taxi and Alice could tell I was nervous, her hands kept moving me own from my mouth and reassuring me it was okay. "Don't worry. I can see it'll go well. I can see the future." I believed her of course. It was Alice, she wouldn't lie to me. She hasn't so far at least.

When we got to the house Alice still had hold of my hand and she led me in the house. I was surprised, the house was like a small mansion. "Wow." I muttered walking into the house looking around at my surroundings. "This is wow" I didn't know how else to describe it. "It's one of our many homes. Now! It's time! I think I'm more excited than you!" Alice giggled pulling me by my hand towards the living room and my eyes were greeted with people standing smiling at me.

"Welcome Bella, I'm Esme. It's so wonderful to finally meet you." That must be Edwards Mum. She looked older than the rest of the family whom I had already met. "Hey" I said quietly, lifting my hand up a little – My pathetic embarrassed version of a wave but I forgave myself by giving her a small smile. The others kind of just stood there. Jasper, once again looked like he was in pain, Emmett had a huge grin on his face and.. Oh god, he was coming closer. I felt my eyes widen a bit. He looked big enough to crush me.

I felt his arms snake around me and I was fearing death, he was going to bleed me dry but instead it felt… Nice. A tight hug, but not too tight and I felt my feet leaving the ground before being returned moments later. "It's great to finally get to do that, you don't know how long I've been wanting to do that for." The others had come closer by now and Rosalie looked like she was about to kill someone and it'd probably have been me.

"Edward and Carlisle are sorry they couldn't be here. They've decided to go on a camping trip." Esme said apologizing for Edward. She didn't have to, but he was her son even though he was being a huge idiot. But who was Carlise? "Carlisle is our father." I heard Alice whisper and I nodded as a thank you. "Do you guys mind if I show Bella around?"Alice asked in the cutest voice possible. How could anyone say no to that. I know that I wouldn't have been able to.

"Yeah that's fine." Esme said with a smile before looking over at her children, her eyes meeting with Emmetts, her eyebrows raising in a 'I love her already way' which made me blush. Alice's hand grabbed my own and that feeling that was beginning to get familiar ran through my body, my heart starting to speed up again. I tried to ignore it but I couldn't. It wouldn't go away and it was too present, nagging at me to do something but what? I had no idea.

Alice led me up the stairs past a few rooms before reaching the last room on the left. "This is my room." She smiled and instantly I imagined all girly stuff and well, I was hit with something completely different. She opened the door and I was greeted with black, almost everything was either black or green, but mostly black. The room was painted black and it wasn't girly as all. One whole wall had pictures stapled to it and news articles and drawings. Like something you'd see a detective do.

"You look surprised" Alice laughed a little stepping into her room leading me in towards her bed sitting down on it. "Well, it isn't as cheerful as I thought it'd have been" I confessed looking around at my surroundings. There was a bookcase with loads of old books and a few new ones. "Where's your clothes and stuff?" I asked looking at her and her eyes sparked a little as she jumped up pulling me up with her to the wall… What?

She pushed on the wall and it moved to reveal a huge room, well more of a huge wardrobe cupboard, It was pretty much a whole other room. "Wow." I muttered in amazement. I didn't know where to look ; there was so much stuff.

"It's my little addiction." She giggled grabbing my hand, and of course the tingling started, leading me back to the dark room. I sat on her bed but what was I sitting on? It was something hard, I reached under myself and pulled a object out and looked at it. What the hell… I looked at it and then it hit me.

It.  
Was.  
A.  
Vibrator.

Yes… A Vibrator.

My eyes widened significantly and before Alice turned around to see what I had in my hands I put it under her covers. She turned around and giggled "why are you so red Bella?" I just shrugged it off as she came to sit next to me

"You're so cute when you're all red" She sighed with a smile. I decided to change the subject, quickly. "I thought you were with Jasper, it doesn't seem this is his room too." I quizzed. "Well, it's a complicated relationship really and I do like my own space to do research." She said looking deep in thought. "He's good to me, I just… He isn't what I want." Alice continued more to herself than to anyone else.

I didn't know what to really say to that so I just decided to focus on the topic of her 'research'. "So, what are you researching" Looking past her I saw the wall of documents again. "My living relatives and my family, oh and certain people whom I'm interested in that have had an impact in my life. Oh, and my certain uniqueness to vampirism . It keeps me busy" She finished off that serious note with a laugh. She looked so happy most of the time but once you got into her personal side… It was much darker than I expected.

"Would you like to look around some more?" She asked after a while. "I'm good here" I said quietly fiddling with my hands. "Bella, are you nervous?" Alice asked, her hand touching mine. "No, well… I don't know. It's all this I guess" I muttered not looking at her. "Well, I'm going to have a shower. I won't be long. Don't go anywhere" Alice smiled getting up and going to her closet. She returned and I eyed the clothes in her hands. Looked like lingerie. Instantly my mind imagined her in it. Sick, sick, sick! That was what I was, what was even worse was I liked what I saw. I really liked it.

"Wait!" I called out as she reached the door. "How long will you be?"

"About 10 to 20 minutes, not long. My laptop is on the cupboard over there, you can use if if you want while you wait." She offered. "I'll be right back, the shower, well my shower is right next to this room if you need me or something." She said as she left the room.

My hand kept creeping behind me, wanting to reach under the covers but my mind kept bringing my hand back. I wanted to so bad but it was so wrong. I laid back on Alice's bed and began to distract myself wondering why she had a bed. She said she didn't need to sleep. It smelt like her. I breathed in her scent and what? My eyes rolled back. My mind then ran back to the vibrator then to all the things she's done in this bed. Bad Bella! No! Mentally scolding myself for thinking such thoughts I tried to think about something, _anything_ other than Alice pleasing herself, sliding the vibrator into herself… Moaning in ecstasy … Oh god. Think of unsexy thoughts… Think of unsexy thoughts… Think of… EdwardEdwardEdwardEdward. Yes! It was working.

I closed my eyes focusing my thoughts on Edward when this sound distracted me. It sounded sort of like rain, like a shower or some—Oh. It was Alice in the shower all wet, probably soaping up her pale body. Naked. Lip between teeth, I stifled a moan. What was wrong with me, seriously and why was my hand creeping towards that vibrator I accidently stumbled upon earlier? This time my arm won, my mind couldn't convince myself to stop reaching for it, not with that sound of water running, not with the images of a naked Alice. Sexy, wet, naked Alice.

My hand lifted the forbidden object up as my left hand snaked down to my fly unbuttoning it, my fingers fumbling as they did. My hands tugged my pants down urgently exposing my bare thighs. I flipped the switch and it started vibrating. Closing my eyes I imagined Alice, her hands guiding the vibrator to my entrance, teasing me with me before sliding it deep into me, her other hand going up to my clit, circling it with her finger going faster and faster as she twisted the vibrating source of pleasure in me. I listened to the shower running, imagining her in it and I was so close, I was tensing up almost panting now when the shower stopped. It stopped.

My eyes shot open as I quickly turned the vibrator off and hid it back under the blankets still wet with my fluids. My hands went at a almost unhuman speed pulling my undies and pants back up and moved to sit back on the bed playing with my hands like nothing had happened. I knew my face was flushed, I just hoped Alice thought that was normal by now. She walked in wearing a small black dress and I had to admit I was kind of disappointed. I shouldn't have been wanting to see her in the lingerie she had but I did. I really wasn't sure of myself anymore. It confused me greatly. I couldn't believe I had just almost came over Alice.

"It smells… Like sex in here." She instantly stated.

Oh…  
Oh god…  
Oh god she knew.

"Maybe two people are in the woods having some fun and you're smelling that." I muttered not meeting her eyes. She came and sat next to me. "Nope, it's definitely coming from you." She smirked grabbing one of my hands and bringing it to her face. "Yep, definitely from you…" She sighed, her voice more husky… It was sort of seductive. I didn't say anything for a while, we just sat in silence before her hand tilted my head up to look at her and what I saw was just amazing. Simply amazing. Her eyes were a magnificent purple colour with dark blue around the edges, her pupils dilated. "Alice… Your eyes…" I couldn't take my eyes from hers.

"Hungry." She replied, her tone still sexy, her mouth parted a little as she stared into my eyes. "Really, really hungry…" She looked as if she was tormented and she finally pulled her eyes away, taking a minute of just staring at a wall before saying "well, the others have gone to hunt. You smell much more delicious to us than most humans, it's harder to control ourselves around you." Alice smiled and I saw her eye colour had slightly faded to a less vibrant blue and purple.

I rested back against her bed trying to think of something other than being extremely sexually frustrated so naturally I thought of Edward and it made me think, why didn't he want me to know about him? Why didn't he tell me?

"Alice, you know the vampire thing? Why didn't Edward tell me?" I quizzed looking at her sat in the same position as before. "Well, he was worried you'd want to become a vampire too, he didn't want to effectively 'kill' you and damn you to hell. At least that's my understanding of it." Alice smiled down at me making me feel at ease even with such a serious topic.

"Has he killed anyone?" I asked, curious.

"He has. So has Carlisle, my 'father' of sorts. I had a much different lifestyle to the rest of my family with the exception of Jasper. I was turned and left alone. When someone is first turned, they are wild, out of control with thirst. I've always managed to control it, I've always known there is a different way, a better way. I had a conscious, which is extremely rare for those of our kind in the first year of our lives. "

"is that why you can be so close to me for so long? Edwards had trouble with that."

"Yes, I've never tried human blood so I don't see the appeal for it as much, sure I tend to lust for it but I'm not addicted to it." Alice grinned leaning towards me inhailing. "You do smell good though." I laughed at that.

It soon turned night and I actually had the best time I've had in a while with Alice. Her happiness just radiated off her and went onto others. We watched a few movies too and soon it was past midnight. Shit. Charlie. I knew I should call him or something but I didn't care. I wanted to stay here with Alice. "Hey missy. It's past your bedtime." Alice play-scolded. "Hey, school holidays cut me some slack." I replied trying to fend off a yawn. "Seriously, you need sleep and I don't think I'd mind joining you" Alice said, yawning throughout the last few words. "I thought you couldn't sleep" I chuckled. Alice poked me. "I said I didn't have to miss smarty pants. I actually enjoy sleeping and dreaming." She grinned, "it's a perk my family can't enjoy. They say they're not missing out on anything but I find dreams wonderfully delightful. They make me feel more human."

I didn't really reply, I just looked at her in interest. She was, well intriguing. So mysterious and every little detail or thought she uncovered interested me further. Rubbing my eyes I started to heed Alice saying I should sleep. I just didn't want to, I wanted to talk to her as much as I could without Edward interrupting us. It was rare.

"What do you think about dreams?" Alice head-butted my arm lightly getting my attention. Looking up to her I smiled. Everything about her face made me smile. The shape, her eyes, her nose, her lips. I really liked her lips, the way they curved when she smiled and grinned. The way her eyes sparkled when she talked to me. She didn't smile talking to other people the way she smiled talking to me and it made me smile.

"Bella?"

That got me out of my daze. I forgot she even asked me something. "Oh!" I paused thinking of an answer. Dreams… I never really had 'dreams.' "I um, what dreams?" I asked scoffing a little, "I have nightmares mostly." I confessed a little involuntarily. I guessed she saw my hesitation and decided not to press further on the matter. I started thinking a little and decided to continue, to myself really "I wish I dreamed. I don't really have fantasies and goals and stuff because I've never really had a good life. A normal life." I could feel my speech slurring a little.

I rubbed my eyes trying to fight to stay them open and I couldn't keep fighting it much longer. When I opened my eyes again I was in someone's arms. "Wha-what?" I mumbled looking around. I was in Alice's arms. "Shh, I'm putting you in Bed." I wasn't entirely sure that I was awake now. It seemed too perfect with Alice setting me down on the bed, me looking up to her reaching an arm out to her, her laying down next to me, me moving and laying on her, my head on her chest. "You're so beautiful, this must be a dream so it's safe to tell you I love you." I smiled closing my eyes again, holding her in my arms. As I fell asleep I heard "I love you too Bella, you wouldn't understand how much."

I woke up confused. I wasn't asleep on the floor, I was on the bed in Alice's arms. I didn't try and move much, I just breathed in her scent, her warmth almost an addiction. Did last night really happen? I hoped it was. I really was worried now, fretting it wasn't a dream but I didn't see it happening in real life, at all.

Alice had her eyes shut tightly, I noticed her little twitching movements as she laid in my arms. I guessed she was dreaming and the little smile she had on was so adorable. I couldn't help smiling myself watching the dark haired girl in my arms and I was actually comfortable. I actually liked having her be so close to me.

I watched as her eyes opened, her smile broadening when she saw me. "Best sleep I've had in a while." She muttered closing her eyes again, her arms tightening around me. "I dreamt last night, you picked me up and well, set me to bed. "That… That wasn't a dream." Alice grinned sighing happily. She looked so happy, almost as happy as I was in her arms. She was just, comforting. Wait what did she just say? It wasn't a dream? I felt my heart sink. "It was a dream." I murmured quietly loosening my grip on her. A sudden thought ran through my head, maybe I was still sleeping. I hoped that was the case. "I'm still dreaming right?" I asked looking up at Alice with her eyes closed smiling. She just shook her head but I didn't believe her. "I'm dreaming, I couldn't, I couldn't possibly have you in my arms, not someone like, like you." I said quietly. "This seems too perfect to be real."

"It does, doesn't it? But I can assure you it's real Bella. It's so real. I can feel your heartbeat against my skin, your warmth, your smell and you're in my arms. I've been wanting this for a while" Alice breathed out moving one of her arms from around me I felt my hand being grabbed by hers. I moved so I was resting on my elbow, just looking down at her face. Her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted I had the strong urge to lean down and just kiss her. It was such a strong urge and I didn't want to fight it, I wanted to act on my desire. I felt as I leaned closer to her face, as my lips pressed against hers and she didn't flinch away, she just parted her lips more kissing me back softly. Her lips were so soft, so enchanting. I actually enjoyed this kiss and I wasn't going to break it anytime soon but I didn't have to. Alice did.

"Bella I'm so sorry!" She cried out trying to move me off her. My heart sank, I felt rejected. I looked behind me at the door wanting to run away and that's when I saw Edward.

And that's when the abuse started.

**Cliffhanger. I know, I'm evil.  
****I have the next chapter already written though, so you'll get it eventually :3 **


	5. Maybe This Is All I Deserve?

** Author: Jasmin's Ninja (Formerly CatOnyx)  
Story: Monsters  
Rating: M for Sexual References, Abuse and language  
Chapter 5: Maybe this is all I deserve?**

**First off, thanks for the reviews so far. They make me smile, and sometimes make my day when I'm feeling like shit.**

**Sorry guys, I was really meant to update sooner but the last week or so has been very bad, emotionally so I haven't really, focused on writing. Hope you like it, here you go.**

**_Can I speak? I will destroy if I speak..._**

"Edward I..I…" I had no idea what to say and my heart was running a hundred miles an hour, even faster than it had been when Alice's lips were on me. I was scared. "How could you do this to me!" He growled starting to walk over to me. My body managed to get off Alice and my legs worked, thankfully, to stand up, stumbling over to him trying to apologize. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to. I love y—" he slapped my face, with such force I fell to the ground holding my face feeling the tears start to stroll down my cheek. How could he have done that? How was he able to hurt me? I felt my heart twist and turn, pain coursing through my chest as I started to sob quietly.

"Edward, don't you dare touch her again!" I heard Alice yell at him, her voice full of fury. I turned around and saw them standing right in front of each other, Edward towering over the small girl. They were just glaring at another for the longest time before Edward pulled away and grabbed my arm, pulling me up violently saying "come on Bella, I'm taking you back to Charlie's." In a bitter tone. I didn't want to go, I was scared of being with Edward alone. "Your father has decided to go on a fishing trip with the foul dogs from the reservation. I'm going to be looking after you for a week."

Now I was terrified.

He led me upstairs to my room when we got to my house and I was really scared he was going to hurt me again, I was scared of disobeying him and getting hit, of being reluctant to follow him and being hurt but what he said completely through me off. He was 'him' again. "I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to hurt you. It won't ever happen again." He apologized kissing my cheek, and then my forehead. "I'll never forgive myself for hurting something so fragile, so beautiful, for hurting the love of my life." Those words started to ease my fear. He became him again.

"Bella, love, have you ever been out with a man before?" He asked in the most caring voice he could, holding my hand gently. I went red, and all shy looking away from him. "No" I muttered so quietly I didn't expect him to hear but he did. "You know, you're the only girl I've gone public with. You mean that much to me."He slowly moved me down onto my back, laying on me. "I couldn't live without you, I'd kill myself without you." He uttered pressing his lips against mine.

His rough cold hand trailed down my side to my pants. He moved his lips to my neck and I was just inhaling his scent. It smelt wrong, bitter, kind of like alcohol. He pulled my pants and underwear down and off and I closed my legs, shy and not really knowing what I wanted. He kissed up my legs, his cold lips making me want to flinch away. "Open your legs Bella." He asked, but it sounded more like an order and I trusted him right? And I loved him so I opened my legs.

"Oh. You're not shaved down there." He muttered and I instantly closed my legs again but he pried them open again against my will. "Stop, please stop" I murmured quietly feeling his tongue slide up my torso. It was so cold, so disgusting on my skin and he didn't stop, in fact he moved faster, I felt him on me, his hands sliding down to his crotch, pulling his pants down as he kissed my neck.

"Stop, please" I whispered, my forehead creased in worry. He took no notice of my words and I felt him against me so I just closed my eyes imagining I was somewhere else but nothing was working, nothing was making it better. I felt him slide into me, my closed eyes imagined Phil. His rough hands holding my in place, the smell. I tried one last time to make him stop be trying to move away but he was too strong. _'Fifty two, fifty two, fifty two…'_ Wait, this was the 53rd time I was being raped, should it changed. I tried my hardest not to laugh at that fact, at what I was thinking about, numbers, while this was being done to me but after a few seconds that humor wore off and I remembered where I was and the only thoughts in my mind were in the form of numbers, helping me totally distract myself from what was going on.

He stopped, I didn't even realize until he whispered my name. When he did I didn't respond, I just laid there my eyes opening a little. How could he have done this to me? I thought he loved me. "Bella, I love you." Edward murmured.

**_It will destroy how I speak._**

I didn't reply still. Just laid there in shock. I was numb. Everyone I loved ended up hurting me and I had no idea what I did to deserve this. I'd always been a good girl as a child, but I was always punished. "You don't feel like a virgin." He muttered.

"I never told you I was a virgin." I stated, blankly looking at the ceiling. He didn't reply and I didn't move my eyes away from the ceiling for a second. It felt like the little bit of hope left I had was completely gone. Like there was no reason to live, no reason to prolong my own suffering. I didn't know what I wanted to do more, hurt myself or hurt someone else, just take all this pain out on someone completely innocent. I knew I wasn't going to touch Edward. I loved him… He's the only one that'll ever want me…

"I… I thought you said I was the first guy you've been with." Edward said and it sounded like he had his jaw clenched. "I'm not a virgin. I'm far from that." I admitted out loud for the first time in my life, still in a emotionless tone. What removed my eyes from the ceiling was Edwards fist slamming into the side of my face, making my head wince to the side. It hurt. It wasn't a slap, it was a full blown punch. "You fucking liar!" Edward spat, hitting me again. This time I actually made a sound, a grunt. I just kept thinking about that number, trying to get my mind from the situation. I watched as he walked to my door grabbing a cell phone out of his pocket. I tried to listen to what he was saying but my ears were ringing making it impossible.

He walked back over to me and I flinched a little before admitting "I was raped." In the most pained tone that I've ever heard come from my own mouth. "Sure you were, more like you're just a fucking lying slut." He spat out, "I don't even want to see you right now." He walked over to my window. "Good, I won't have to. My friends are here. They're going to _look_ after you. Because frankly, I can't stand the sight of you right now."

I started crying more, my almost silent whimpers turning into sobs when he walked out the door of my room and three men replaced him. Staggering up over to the window I saw him in the distance and I was sure he heard my screams as the men dragged back to the bed by my hair.

Once they got what they wanted they didn't stay. They left me bleeding, more broken then ever on my bed. Alone, scared and feeling like a piece of meat. Just something for people to use then just throw away. Maybe I am a whore? Maybe that's the best it'll get for me. The closest to a loving relationship for me will be being a whore.

**_I will destroy when I speak, it will destroy you._**

My mobile ringing is what woke me up. Checking the caller ID I saw it was Riley and I was about to answer it but as I went to reach over it, I tried to yawn and yelped in pain. There was no way I would be able to talk after what happened last night. My mind started to try and think back what happened and why I felt like my jaw was broken but I blocked myself from thinking that. Edward didn't come back that night and I was all alone and the most saddest thing that went through my mind is that I felt like he abandoned me. I actually wanted him to come back and everything be normal again. I laid back on my back and ran my hands down my body flinching every so often when I touched somewhere that was sore and tender. My fingers reached my crotch and I could hardly feel and inspect the damage it hurt so much but I felt that they didn't wear protection. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to lay here in my own misery but I knew I had to go out so I forced myself to get up and go over to grab some clothes and it hurt like hell to walk, to move at all really.

I walked downstairs and out the door not wanting to make conversation or see anyone more than I needed to I opted to walk. It took about half an hour to go down to the local shopping small shopping mall and I walked straight towards the chemist but something made me stop in my tracks. Alice was standing just outside the door, her arms folded, looking right at me. I continued on, a slower pace than before and I would have said hey if I thought I was able to. I just kind of gave her a nod and walked past her to the inside of the shop and to the counter. "Hey, I'm Ben. What'd you like?" Time to get out the only words I had to say. "Could I have the morning after pill?" but to be honest it sounded more like 'ken uh have vah moring arthur pill' and I was glad that the man over the counter understood me.

"Yeah, just let me go get it" he said, looking kinda confused reluctantly turning his head from me. I tilted my head down letting my hair fall in my face. "Here you go, that'll be $25.39." He handed me it in a small paper bag. I looked up fumbling with my money and saw him tilting his head to the side slightly. "On second thoughts, don't worry about paying. I've got it" He smiled looking kind of apologetic. I shook my head and continued to try and get my money out not being able to keep from feeling the heat take over my cheeks.

"No, I will. It looks like you've been through the wars." He said placing his hand on mine. "Oh wait, you are older than 16 aren't you? I always forget to check age.." He muttered. I got out my ID and showed him. "Ah, well that's good. I hope I see you again soon." He smiled and I just smiled a little, not meeting his eyes. Walking back out I saw Alice was still there. I tried to just walk past but she moved to stand in front of me. "Bella… Oh… Oh no... why didn't I see this?" She almost sobbed out. "I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault." I managed to murmur keeping my eyes from her face. "What did that bastard do to you? What did that fucking arsehole do to you?" She whispered and I saw tears forming in her eyes. She didn't even needing to tilt my head up because she was already smaller than me, letting her to look up at my face. "Edward didn't want me to see you, I'm not meant to even be here."

"Then leave, Alice." I said through gritted teeth which barred me from moving my jaw more than I needed to. I tried to move past her. I really didn't want to see her right now, but at the same time I really needed to just hug her and break down but I didn't want, Edward didn't want me to see Alice…

"But, Bella, you need a doctor. Let me help you." Alice said, her voice filled with worry. She tried grabbing her arm and I just pulled my arm from her grip. I know she would be able to keep me there with her strength and I didn't know why she didn't use advantage. "I don't need your fucking help. Why don't you just leave me alone?" I said, a little harsher than the last thing I said. I turned around to see her face, and it looked like a mixture of shock and pain. "Bella I…" She uttered, her arms at her side. "Alice, I don't _want_ you to help me. I don't want you around me. Go back to fucking Jasper!" I said, actually screaming out the last two words making me instantly howl out in pain, my hands shooting up to my face, holding my jaw as I sobbed a little. "Just please go." I sobbed out. I looked over at Alice, she had her mouth open slightly "at-at least let me, let me take you home. I'm so sorry I didn't see this happening" She said, her voice incredibly pleading. I shook my head and started to walk forward toward my father's house which used to serve as a relief from the abuse, now all it was to me was a place that I was abused in again. Like everywhere else.

I got home to see Edwards car parked in front of the house and the instant I did panic overwhelmed me. I tried to feign I was calm and okay as I walked in the front door and saw Edward waiting for me. "Hey love, how are you feeling? I have something for you." He smiled showing me what he had behind his back. A bouquet of flowers. He set them down on the kitchen counter and walked over to my hugging me. I froze up, scared but after a while I calmed down. "Where did you leave me to just then?" he asked, but he had this way where he'd ask, but it'd be more like demanding to know. "I, uh.." he tightened his hold and said repeated, "where did you go… love."

"I reached into my pocket and pulled out what I got from the chemist. "Oh, yeah you'd be needing that." He took it from my hands and inspected the packet. He didn't say anything, he just walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the packet that the pill was in, opened it and tipped it down the sink. I just stood there, stiffening up at what he was doing. "Bella. Why was someone's number on the bag?"

Oh god no. That stupid pharmacist. Stupid caring, sweet pharmacist. "I… He gave me his number in case I needed a repeat of it" I muttered. "Why not use the store number?" Edward eyed me suspiciously. "Because it's, uh, been playing up or something."

Edward didn't reply. He just laughed and quoted what I said "He thinks you're a slut" he said laughing a little, " 'in case you needed a repeat' . You shouldn't dress like that if you don't want people thinking that." I just nodded, even though I was wearing a collared tee-shirt and jeans. "Edward, I uh, needed that pill…" I whispered quietly, playing with the hem of my shirt. "You didn't need that number with it."

"I didn't ask him for it. I wouldn't do that, I love you" I didn't want to talk, because each word I said brought me more aching and pain but I didn't want to be accused of ignoring him. I watched as he threw the paper bag in the bin and started pacing back and forth looking agitated. "I love you." I muttered wanting him to say it back so I felt loved, needing him to say it. He didn't, he just said 'okay.'

"Bella, I, I have to go out with some of my friends. I'll be back around 10 pm. Don't go anywhere. I trust you." He walked over to me and kissed my head and I flinched as he did thinking he was going to hurt me. I watched as he leaved a sense of relief washing over me, but also distress. He didn't love me. He didn't did he? If he did why would he have done what he did? But he…

I shook my head trying to rid myself of my thoughts because there were more important matters at hand. I walked over to the bin and grabbed the bag out of it and called the number.

"Hey, Ben speaking."

"Hey um, it's that girl from the store. I was wondering if you could come over and bring another, um pill thing. Edward, he um, my boyfriend um, threw it down the um, sink" I stuttered, nervously hoping he'd be able to understand me. My finger started tapping the side of the fridge.

"Uh, no offence but your boyfriend seems like a jerk. The morning after pill? Sure. On me again, and I'll bring some pain killers." He said. "No you don't uh.. Ha-"

"My shout. I'm a sucker for damsels in distress" I heard him laugh after that and I couldn't help cracking a small smile. I gave him my address and waited on the couch.

As soon as the door bell rang I was up. I greeted him and he gave me what he came with then just leant on the door frame and asked "so, did 'Edward' do that to you?" I averted my gaze and didn't reply. "Bella, did he do that?"

Why did he care? What did he want from me?.. How did he know my name? "How do you know my name?"I asked in a mutter. He laughed a little and said "I'm a stalker. I'm here to kill you." And I honestly didn't know if he was being serious or not. "I'm joking, when you showed me ID it had your name." That gave me relief. I looked up and smiled, playing with the things in my hands. "Anyway, I should go, my girlfriends waiting for me" he gave me a smile and walked to his car. "See you later Bella" he called out and I waved a little before going back in the house to take the pills.

The pain medication helped a LOT. I could barely feel the pain anymore. It was nice, it gave me a warm strange feeling, kinda a numbing feeling where I was sore. I was sat watching something on TV mindlessly when I got a txt. I got my cell phone out and it was from Edward. 'I know he was there.'

A lump in my throat formed suddenly and I found myself hyperventilating and trying to find Riley's number on my phone. I found it and called her. It rang and rang, why wasn't she picking up? It went to her voice messages. I hung up and tried again and again and again and she finally answered. "Hey Bell-"

"Riley, I need you!" I shouted in whisper form, "now."

"What?" She said, sort of incredulous.

"I need you to come and help me, take me to your house before he comes back please" I urged running up the stairs and grabbed my suitcase.

"Before who comes back Bella? Are you okay dude?" Riley asked.

"I'm not okay, Edward he, he… "I started sobbing unable to finish the sentence.

"I'll be right there." I heard her say, sounding like she said it through gritted teeth. "Hurry" I urged hanging up starting to pack my suitcase with clothes. After I was done with clothes I rushed over to the bathroom and grabbed stuff off the shelves, stuffing it into a plastic bag before going back just about to go down the stairs when I decided to check if my father had another pair of jeans I could take. I opened the door and the sight before me was something not even my nightmares had included. My father was there, on the bed, blood everywhere. I just stood there in shock, slowly walking backwards and back to the hallway stumbling over my feet before turning around and bumping into someone. Immediately I thought it was Edward but when I looked up it was Riley. She almost whimpered when I looked up, worry and anger in her eyes as she grabbed the suitcase from my hand, took my hand with her own free one and lead me outside to a car. I didn't even question where she got it from, I was still in shock from what I had just seen.

"Oh god, what the fuck did he do to you?"

I didn't reply.

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to rip him apart!" She shouted trembling a little, her eyes focusing on the road in front of her. I stared ahead too, not focusing on anything really. There were a million things running through my mind and I couldn't focus on any one thought. It was a blur, so bad I didn't even know what I was trying to think. I didn't even realize the car had stopped until Riley's voice beside my ear broke me from my daze.

"Bella, we're here. Let me help you up" she said and I turned my head to where her voice was coming from. She had the passengers door open, and her hand out to help me out. I took it, still in a state of numb as she helped me out. I felt her arm around me as she helped me inside, moving slowly at the pace I was walking.

She led me inside and over to the couch, pushing all the stuff that laid on the seats off and I made a move to sit down, staring mindlessly at the wall. "Bella are you okay?" I felt the seat move as she sat down next to me. I still couldn't focus on one thought. "I'm here beautiful, I promise I won't leave you." Riley whispered and something clicked inside my head, I stalled my breathing as my hand blindly went to grab onto her, anywhere on her. I ended up grabbing her thigh and as I did sobs started to escape my lips. I felt my body moving without thinking, pushing Riley down onto her back, crawling up her body, grabbing her as I did, grabbing her so she didn't go anywhere.

She seemed surprised at my sudden outburst "ple-please" I stuttered between sobs, "do-don't go." My grip on her tightened. Her hands trailed up and down my back soothing me slightly as my head rested on her chest while I sobbed. "I…" she paused, "I won't Beautiful." Even though she told me what I wanted to be told it wasn't as soothing as I'd have hoped it to be. It didn't make the tears stop rolling down my face onto her chest, getting her shirt wet but I realized after a while the rashness of what I did and sat back up, not sobbing anymore but still crying. I didn't want to scare Riley away, I already pushed Alice away. I was scared I was going to push Riley away too. I slowly moved my eyes to her once the tears stopped flowing and just looked at her. "Bella, what happened?" She asked quietly, her forehead winkled up a little in worry.

"I… I…" I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want her more angry and upset then she already was either. "I am just having a bad day" I finally said, and I didn't lie really, I _was_ having a bad day. I heard her sigh and looked away, feeling bad. "A bad day that resulted in your face looking like a punching bag when I go see you after you called me hysterical? That's a pretty bad day." I heard Riley chuckle a little after that, probably making it more light-hearted than she meant it to be. "I, I fell" okay, that was a lie. Why did I lie? Why couldn't I just tell her what really happened? "Fell over and over?" Riley interrogated placing her hand on my thigh. Her hand made me flinch a little. "And the fall resulted in you flinching when I touch you?" Her voice was quieter now, shaking a little while she took her hand off of me. I just wanted to say 'I'm so sorry' but my mouth wouldn't dare so instead I looked over at her, just staring at her. She looked paler than usual, dark circles around her eyes. "What about you?" I whispered, my eyes not leaving her "you don't look so good either."

She moved her eyes from me. Looking down she said "yeah, I haven't been feeling so good this week. Mood swings and stuff and I'm not even on until a few more weeks" she chuckled looking back up meeting my eyes again. "But compared to you I'm great." It was my turn to look away. I felt dirty, unclean and just disgusting. "I… can I, um have a shower?" She eyed me cautiously before replying "yeah, the towels are in the laundry down the hallway though."

I went straight to the bathroom without bothering to get a towel turning the shower on, and standing underneath it my hands started scrubbing at my skin.

**There you guys go. :3**


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